Why Me?
by ChaosLilKat
Summary: The third in my ever growing SPN/Arrow crossovers. Castiel taps Oliver to help Dean rescue Sam from a trap that Lucifer has him in. There are references to events that took place in my other two stories as this is part of a series. My first original novel is for sale Honor Bound-Awakenings Kat Loveland Amazon Kindle .99
1. Chapter 1

Why me?

Arrow/Supernatural Crossover

Chapter 1 - Reconnections and Revelations

Oliver was engaged in a firefight. He had chased down some Triad members who were in town. Apparently there was a bidding process going on for the contract to kill the new district attorney. Several of the criminal elite in Starling were looking for a good assassin. The more he found out about the criminal element and how it worked the more he realized it ran just like the government. The irony of his mother running for mayor grew stronger every day.

He ducked and rolled as bullets came flying from his right. He found some shadows to hide in to try to get a line of sight on the gunmen. He sensed a presence on his left., he spun and saw a man that looked completely out of place standing there. He was in a beige trenchcoat, a blue tie, suit coat and slacks. He had short wavy black hair and an odd expression on his face. He was also completely exposed to the gunfire.

"Are you insane?" Oliver yelled as he dove forward to push the man down. When he connected it felt like he had run into a granite cliff. The man did not move a step.

"No. I'm an angel."

Oliver felt a hand on his shoulder then came the strangest sensation. He felt like he was traveling at an incredibly high speed. He swore he saw the planet Earth from space then everything stopped and he was in the middle of a different firefight.

"What the hell? " Oliver swore as he ducked down and tried to get his bearings. Instead of a dark alley in Starling City he was outside of an abandoned farmhouse.

"Cas! Really? " he heard a familiar voice. A voice that he shouldn't be hearing.

"Dean, you need help. I have to find Sam and you can't do this alone. So I brought him." the man with the trenchcoat replied.

"Dean?" Oliver said, stunned. "Wait weren't you in..."

'Yes." Dean interrupted.

"How'd you get.." Oliver started again

'Him." Dean pointed at the man in the coat.

"Who are…" Oliver went for a third question

"Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord. I pulled Dean out of hell."

"Am I going to get to…"

"No. We're busy Oliver. Ask later. " Dean cut him off and started firing a shotgun at something.

"Care to at least clue me in on who's shooting at us? " Oliver snapped.

"Who do you think?" Dean retorted

"Ok. Well I am not equipped to to shoot demons. I left the salt in my other suit. " Oliver ducked as a bullet ricocheted off a rock.

"Here." Dean threw Oliver a shotgun . " Aim it that direction and pull the little trigger thingy. Sorry it's newer technology."

"Dean. " Castiel said in a scolding tone. He crouched down next to Oliver. "Sam Winchester is missing and we are trying to get an artifact out of the hands of the demons that are in that house. Lucifer has been raising the Four Horsemen and he needs Pestilence and Famine. We stopped War once, Death got out. "

"Lucifer?" Oliver asked incredulously as he aimed the shotgun and blew a demon's face off. "What happened?"

"Hey you can shoot a gun. Why do you use arrows? " Dean asked

'Why do you drive a 67 Impala?" Oliver replied. Dean looked at him, cocked his head to the side, nodded a bit and kept shooting.

"Touche." Dean smirked.

"It's a long story Oliver Queen. Dean and Sam are part of a plan to end the world. "Castiel replied. "They are fighting their destinies though. Sam disappeared and I have to find him before things get worse. You have to help Dean. " then Castiel vanished.

"What? Why me? " Oliver said. "This is not my area of expertise."

"Damn it Cas! " Dean snarled. " Could he have brought me another hunter? No. He brings me someone who has no idea what's going on. " Dean snapped another shot off. "Ok, so short version. As Cas said we have to get into that house. There are some bones from some genocide that Lucifer needs to let Famine out. Sam disappeared three days ago. For all we know Lucifer took him somewhere. Cas has to focus on that so I get to do this and apparently you have been drafted to help. "

Oliver was trying to process as fast as he could. Lucifer? Famine? He shook his head. " Focus on the people shooting at you" he thought to himself.

"Ok, tell me the rest later. " Oliver said. He snuck a look around the rock he was crouched behind. He counted 5 demons outside all blocking the entrance to the house.

"Do you know how many are inside? " He asked Dean.

"Cas said about 4 more in the house." Dean replied

"Wait this Castiel, he's an angel. Can't he just send these demons back to wherever?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah, not so much. He's disobeying orders so he's gotten cut off from a lot of his power. Heaven really dislikes independent thought." Dean said.

"Alright. Well there goes that idea. " Oliver replied. He peeked around the rock again and looked for other access points.

"You wouldn't happen to have more of those pumper trucks?" Dean asked hopefully.

"They, like the salt are in my other suit." Oliver replied dryly "Are we on a deadline? " Oliver asked.

"Not really. We just need to get the bones away from the demons as soon as we can. I think the demons are still looking for them seeing as how they haven't disappeared. There's always the other possibility that's it a trap. It usually is. "

"If it's a trap why do you keep falling for it?" Oliver pointed out. Dean shot him a glare.

"They know we know that they need these things. So when they find one they always try to trap or kill us when we come to take it away. We're not complete idiots. " Dean snarled.

As they had been talking Oliver had continued to scan the area. It was a scrubby grassland type area, not a lot of cover. There were a few trees close to the house. His eyes mapped a path from where he was to the trees. If he had enough of a distraction he could probably make it.

"Dean, I have an idea but I will need a distraction. If I can make it to those trees I can hop on the roof of the house and create an access point. Do you have a shotgun with a strap I can throw over my back, I'll need both hands. " Oliver asked.

"Yup. " Dean passed him a sawed off shotgun, a box of shells and a flask. "Holy water in there. Dip your arrows in it. It should work. What's the plan? "

"I'm going to climb those trees, use one of my exploding arrows to make a nice hole in the roof, shoot through it, in theory kill the demons inside. Then jump into the house and bust out a window. You and I can grind the remaining ones up in between us. " Oliver said.

"Great idea, except that if one of them throws you off the roof you'll be stuck right in the middle of all of them." Dean pointed out.

"Other options?" Oliver snarled.

"Don't have any. Just thought I'd point that out. " Dean replied. "So when do you need that distraction? "

"Now." Oliver said and he started running, crouched low, along the path that he had plotted out in his mind.

"Great. " Dean said. He stood up started firing shots into the crowd of demons and ran the opposite direction of Oliver. He waited until the shotgun clicked on empty.

"Awww out of bullets Dean?" He heard one of the demons say. Dean didn't have to try too hard to act nervous.

"Well, like you guys always say. I'm the moron." Dean replied. He watched as the 4 remaining demons walked slowly up to him. Oliver had actually killed one with the shotgun earlier. Dean had placed himself next to another rock and a tree he could duck behind. He just had to wait. He saw Oliver ghosting from rock to rock behind the demons moving as fast as he could. Dean moved his eyes back to the demons so they wouldn't get suspicious.

"It's so cute you try to fight us without Sam around. He's really your only protection against us. Daddy doesn't want Sam to get accidentally hurt when we rip you to shreds." Another demon spoke.

"Well that's touching. " Dean retorted. They were almost close enough. He flicked his eyes to the trees and saw Oliver jumping from the tree and landing on the roof of the house. "Now or never." Dean thought.

Dean yanked the Colt out from his waistband and fired as fast as he could. He took out 2 of the demons then heard an explosion from the roof. One of the demons flicked a hand and Dean got flung back into a tree. He managed to keep a hold of the Colt and fired as he landed. He missed but Oliver didn't. One demon yelled and black smoke came out of his mouth. As he fell forward Dean saw an arrow sticking out of the demon's back. Dean pointed the Colt at the remaining demon it vanished. Dean got up and ran to the house. He saw Oliver firing the shotgun into the hole on the roof. Oliver went flying backwards and barely caught the edge of the roof as he went over it, managing to save himself from a full story fall. Oliver dropped down, shot the window he landed in front of out with the shotgun, threw the now empty shotgun down and started shooting arrows.

"Dean, there's a bit more than four in there. Try six." He shouted as Dean headed to the door. Dean changed his direction and headed towards Oliver who was ducking and running to the door out of the line of fire of the demons.  
"Here. Sam said you're damn good with a knife. " Dean tossed him Ruby's knife, Oliver caught it. Dean reloaded the Colt and ran to the window. 'Count of 3. I'll cover you." Dean said.

'Wait a knife? " Oliver replied.

"Kills demons one hit. Now go." Dean snapped.

"And you made fun of my arrows? " Oliver retorted. Dean glared at him. Oliver ran to the door and looked at Dean.

"1, 2, 3!" Dean shouted as he ran around in front of the window and started firing the Colt into the room. Oliver kicked down the door hoping Dean wouldn't shoot him by mistake. As he burst into the room he saw 6, no wait 5, demons standing in front of him. Dean had nailed one as Oliver had burst through the door. Three were looking at him the other two were shooting at Dean. Oliver gripped the knife, took three steps and sliced at the first demon. He barely connected with the demon's arm who screamed and dropped. Oliver didn't stop moving. He spun to his right and ducked as the second demon fired a shot. Oliver's arm cut lengthwise across the demon's stomach, she started screaming and dropped to the ground. Dean had taken out another one with the Colt and the remaining two looked behind Oliver and just vanished. Oliver heard a step from behind him and saw an older gentleman standing there. He put his hands up.

"Stop, don't stab." he said with a superior look on his face and a bit of an accent. "I'm Crowley. Dean knows me. The bones are behind that wall. " He said as he pointed to a wall to the left of Oliver. "Behind the copy of "The Scream" painting. Oddly appropriate. Those others won't be back for awhile. You're welcome. " then he vanished. Oliver was really getting sick of people vanishing into thin air.

"Thank you, you SOB." Dean said into the thin air. Then he walked over to the framed print of "The Scream" pulled it off the wall and started tapping the wall to find a hollow spot. Once he found it he looked took the Colt by the barrel and slammed the butt of it into the wall. The wall cracked and splintered and eventually Dean had created a decent sized hole in the wall. Dean reached in and pulled out a bag, he opened it, grimaced and closed the bag back up. "Yeah this is what we needed." He tucked the bag into his jacket and started walking out the front door.

"Alright Oliver, let's see if we can get you home. Sorry for all of this." Dean said as Oliver caught up with him.

"Here's your knife back. " Oliver said.

"Thanks I'll probably need that later. C'mon, the Impala isn't too far from here. " Dean started walking up the gravel driveway. Oliver pulled his phone out and saw he had minimal reception.

"Dean. Where are we? I should probably text Felicity and let her know I'm ok since she tracks me. She's probably in full blown panic right about now.. " Oliver asked

"We're about 50 miles outside of Billings, Montana. I am heading to Wyoming but I can drop you off at Billings if you want to catch a flight. " Dean replied.

"Dean, look at me. " Oliver stopped and waited for Dean to turn around

"Oh. " Dean looked and finally realized that Oliver was in his vigilante attire. "Don't suppose you have a series of books being written about your life and people go to conventions dressed like you dress and acting like you act? If so you can just say you're going to one of those. "

"Not that I am aware of. Who'd want to dress like me anyway? "Oliver replied.

"You're lucky. Trust me. It's creepy. Well you'd probably fit some of my spare clothes. We're about the same size. You can just mail them back to me when you get home. "

"Dean. " Oliver heard a voice from behind him. He spun around and had an arrow nocked before he realized it was Castiel. This was going to give him a heart attack if it kept up.

"What Cas? " Dean replied. His voice nonchalant as if this happened all the time.

"I found Sam. I can't get him out though. " Castiel said, his tone concerned.

"Why?" Dean's voice had grown harsh.

"Lucifer has him. " Castiel says.

"What do you mean has him? Sam said yes?"

"No. Sorry I'll rephrase. He has him in a trap. He's showing him realities without you in them. He's trying to break the bond between the two of you. Lucifer knows the only reason Sam hasn't said yes is because of his love for you. If he can break that or make Sam give up hope he knows Sam will accept him." Castiel said. Oliver noticed that Castiel's voice was oddly emotionless.

"Fuck! Where is he? " Dean said.

"Ohio. I can't take both of you. I'm losing too much power. I need to have some to help you with Lucifer. " Castiel said

"Oliver isn't part of this. Take me. " Dean said. He sounded as if he was ordering Castiel. Oliver saw something cross the angel's face. Some hint of expression.

"No. I can't take you and all your gear. Lucifer isn't leaving Sam unguarded. " then he looked at Oliver. Oliver felt like the angel was reading his entire life history directly from his mind. His gaze was piercing. He had never felt so emotionally exposed in front of someone, it was incredibly uncomfortable for him.

"Oliver Queen. I need to speak to you. Dean. Wait here. Come with me Oliver." Castiel turned and started to walk away.

"Cas, we don't have time for this shit. " Dean snarled. Castiel turned and looked at Dean. Something in his posture gave the impression that he was silently challenging Dean. Dean winced and backed down. "Fine." Dean turned and walked to the house, fierce anger evident in every step. Oliver hadn't spent a lot of time with Dean but he knew Dean didn't back down from many people.

Oliver took a few steps and caught up with Castiel. They started walking, Castiel's face was pensive and troubled.

"Oliver. I didn't choose you at random to help Dean today. You helped Sam after Dean was taken to hell in fulfillment of his contract. " the angel paused as if searching for the words. "I find that I no longer am certain of anything in this world on in heaven. Sam and Dean fighting their destinies, demons rebelling against Lucifer, angels acting like demons. Nothing is clear anymore. "

"Castiel, I wasn't much of a church goer growing up so I am not really clear on all of this. " Oliver said.

"Yes, I suppose this is a bit overwhelming. I tend to forget most humans are not as informed as the Winchester's. As Dean says, long story short. Sam and Dean are the vessels for Lucifer and the Archangel Michael respectively. Vessels means that they are the ones destined to be possessed by the two to fight for dominion of this world. In this case the brothers have to give their permission to be possessed. Angels can't just jump in and take over a human like demons can and Lucifer is still technically an angel. The brothers are refusing. However it's a bit more complicated than that. You see the brothers also caused Apocalypse to start and freed Lucifer. This was also part of their destiny. When Dean broke in hell and started torturing seals it opened the first seal to let Lucifer out of his cage. When Sam killed Lillith he broke the last seal. "

"Wait. Back up" Oliver said. " Dean broke? He wasn't gone that long." Oliver said.

"Time in hell runs differently. To Dean it wasn't a few months. It was 40 years. He was tortured every day for 30 years then for 10 years he tortured others. He was a righteous man who shed blood in hell, thus opening the first seal. " Castiel said with his eyes full of sorrow.

"Why didn't heaven save him earlier?" Oliver asked, horrified at what Castiel had said.

"Heaven is not what you may think. I am coming to believe that God is either dead or not interested in this world or the end of it. I wasn't ordered to save him until after he gave in. I know the angels above me knew about it well before before they told me to save him. We all knew when he had been taken to hell, the demon's screams of triumph told us. " Castiel looked away from Oliver, frustration and shame on his face. "We lost track of Sam. I think some demons were concealing him without his knowledge. It appears that you helped him deal with Dean's apparent death but.."

"But what?" Oliver was almost afraid to find out. He had hoped when Sam left Starling that he would be able to stand on his own. It didn't sound as if that had been the case.  
"There was a female demon named Ruby." Castiel said.

"We met. She warned us of the trap in Starling the first time I met the brothers."

"Yes, very helpful she was. She helped Sam to become stronger by using the demon powers that Azazel imparted in him as an infant. She helped Sam become addicted to demon blood and then manipulated Sam into freeing Lucifer. " Castiel's face and voice had grown colder and colder as he spoke. "Sam was trying to compensate for Dean not being alive. Ruby showed him a "safer" way to exorcise demons where the human was not hurt and told him that he would eventually be strong enough to kill Lillith, the original demon, she who killed Dean. I brought Dean back before Sam freed Lucifer. Unfortunately, Sam and Dean had a falling out and Sam chose Ruby over Dean. "

Oliver stopped moving he was so stunned. "Why would Sam do that?" he couldn't believe it.

"I have a hard time understanding the complexities of human emotions. Angels aren't allowed to have emotions. Emotions are what caused the original rift between Lucifer, Michael and God. " Castiel said, his voice was empty but his eyes were not.

"You have emotions though." Oliver said quietly.

"Yes. They are what have been influencing my choices. I think my choices have been correct though. I dislike seeing humans as merely pawns, pieces to be moved around by others. It's not right. These complex emotions that the brothers have. They are why I picked you to help Dean today. " Castiel stopped and looked directly at Oliver. Oliver found himself almost squirming under the intensity of his gaze. "Dean needs to forgive Sam and himself. Lucifer manipulates with the truth, he uses the weakness of human emotions to convince people to do his bidding. Lucifer never lies, he doesn't need to. He merely exposes a human's insecurities and fears then reinforces them. Sam has a great many insecurities and so does Dean. They both know Sam has betrayed Dean once and Dean expects Sam to do it again. So does Sam. Dean spends many hours condemning himself for breaking in hell. His father lasted longer in hell and never broke, Dean sees himself as less than his father. I don't have the words to get through to them. " Castiel said.

"I think you have the words. You just explained their innermost thoughts to me." Oliver pointed out.

"There's a great difference between explaining their emotions and getting them to face them. You and your followers, Felicity Smoak and John Diggle. The three of you got through to Sam. If he had stayed with you longer I think he would not have fallen to Ruby." Castiel said.

"Castiel, Sam was a wreck when I found him. He was out of control and in a place where he was somewhat willing to listen. I don't know Dean all that well but it seems stubbornness is one of his strongest traits. "

"Yes, that is true." Castiel agreed. "That stubbornness has been the only thing that has kept the world from ending. Understand Oliver, they are on the precipice of their ability to fight Michael and Lucifer. If Sam accepts Lucifer, Dean will be forced to accept Michael. "

"To what end. What is the point of it all? " Oliver asked. As soon as he saw the immense amount of sorrow in Castiel's face he instantly regretted asking the question.

"Lucifer and Michael will fight to the death. They will be doing it using Sam and Dean's bodies. Sam and Dean will be aware the whole time. One of them will kill the other." Oliver stopped and leaned against a tree to catch his balance as the immensity of what Castiel had told him sunk in.

"What a sadistic bunch of bastards! These are angels who are doing this?" Oliver's voice crackled with anger.

"Yes. " Castiel said.

"Who's idea was this anyway?"

"God's." Castiel's voice was empty.

"Well fuck that and fuck God. " Oliver snapped. "I still don't understand how I can help."

"You are stubborn, like Dean. You have been tortured, like Dean. In your own way you became evil. You have killed, you have tortured others. Even if it wasn't physical torture you used fear as a weapon to get people to do what you wanted which is a form of torture. On some level you have enjoyed it. You understand loss and betrayal, you understand rage and you understand forgiveness. You understand feeling like you are less than your father. You also understand happiness and a "normal" life like Sam. You have in some measure forgiven yourself for what you have done. You choose not to kill anymore which shows that you have reclaimed some of your humanity. Oliver Queen, you are both Sam and Dean in one person. Dean will listen to you. He must. If he goes to where Sam is and doubts Sam, Sam will know it and he will give in to Lucifer. You have to get through to him like you did Sam. " Castiel stopped and just stared at Oliver. Oliver realized that this angel, this powerful being was begging him for help. He was also incredibly unnerved at what Castiel had said. The angel had seen the depths of his soul in a way no one, including himself, had.

"I...I don't know what to say. I wouldn't even know how to start this conversation with Dean. " Oliver admitted.

"Dean is ready to talk. He just hates to. Maybe buy copious amounts of alcohol. It seems to be a commonly used tool among humans to release inhibitions. " Castiel quite scientifically pointed out. Oliver was having difficulty keeping up with the switches in Castiel from cold emotionless angel to a being with emotions. He had to chuckle at that last bit though, it reminded him of something Felicity would say. He turned his head and looked at Dean who was leaning against the Impala, impatiently waiting. He really looked at him. Dean was on edge, he was scared and angry. He was trying incredibly hard to conceal it but everything about him radiated fear and hopelessness. If Oliver could see it Sam would and the demons could probably smell it a mile away.

'Dean knows I have money and can fly us to Ohio in a matter of hours. That won't be enough time to talk to him. " Oliver said.

"Dean hates to fly, plus he won't leave the Impala or the weapons. Actually he won't leave the Impala, he really could care less about the weapons. " Castiel replied.

"You want me to ride with Dean for what, 3 or 4 days? I have things to take care of back home."

"It's a 22 hour drive to Ada, Ohio where Sam is.. You can break that up into two days. Dean probably won't let you drive the car. Oliver, if Sam gives in to Lucifer it won't really matter what's going on in Starling City. There won't be a city left for you to save." Castiel pointed out.

"Are you going to overrule his objections? I don't think I will be able to. " Oliver said.

"Yes. Dean owes me in ways that he won't refuse me. Are you choosing to help?" Castiel asked intently.

"As long as I am not selling my soul to someone, then yes. " Oliver said. Castiel looked hurt.

"My brother's may act like demons but I don't. I am still an angel and I still remember what it is we are supposed to do. " Castiel said softly.

"My apologies." Oliver said humbly.

"I forgive you." Castiel's voice was serious. Oliver realized an actual angel was forgiving him. He felt an immense sense of power coming off of Castiel. He realized that there was something more to those words than people understood.

"Thank you." he said, his voice almost awestruck at what he felt. The sense of power faded. Castiel nodded at Oliver, turned away from him and started to walk towards Dean. Oliver followed at a respectful distance behind Castiel. He slowly realized that he was in the presence of something otherworldly that was deserving of immense respect. Even though Castiel was losing his power he was still an angel and not to be trifled with.

'Are we done with the emotional pow-wow? Everyone caught up now? " Dean said, his voice rough with anger and impatience.  
"Dean Winchester. Enough. Have I ever done anything that wasn't needed?" Castiel spoke, his tone was filled with steel. Oliver watched as Dean's eyes narrowed. Dean looked from Castiel to Oliver and back.

"You want him to come with me and we're driving. You're not taking me to Sam."

"Correct. " Castiel replied.

"Castiel, Sam is with Lucifer. Have you forgotten his history with demons? " Dean snapped.

'I have not. Have you forgotten that I know Lucifer better than you? If you cannot trust or have faith in your brother Lucifer will use that to destroy the both of you. You need time to reflect and you need Oliver to help you when you get there. "

"Sam is fucking weak Castiel. You know it as well as I do. I have had to keep him on the right path his entire life. It took less than 2 months for him to go darkside after I died. " Dean shouted.

"Sam is not weak Dean. " Oliver said.

'How the fuck would you know?"

"I helped him, after you died. He was far gone. Your death destroyed him, yes. He fought his way back from the brink of suicide. All he thought of was you, he had nightmares of your death. He told us how he had failed you because he couldn't save you from hell. He was shattered. Between your death, Jessica's death and your Dad's death. Think for a minute what he went through. He was living his own life and was as happy as could be. Then it all got ripped away. You were all he had left. Think." Oliver spoke quietly, not wanting to enrage Dean further. Dean closed his eyes.

"Cas. I don't need mental or emotional help. I need to save Sam. " Dean's voice was getting desperate.

"Dean. Look at me. " Castiel said. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Castiel.

"Do you trust me? " Castiel asked. Dean didn't speak a word. Castiel's eyes narrowed. "Of all the angels and demons that have come into your life. I am the only one that has not tortured, threatened, coerced or manipulated either you or Sam. I have earned your trust just as you have earned my trust. Now will you speak the truth or will you deny me. " Dean rocked back as if Castiel had punched him. There was a reference in that statement that Oliver was missing.

"I trust you Castiel. " Dean's eyes were lowered and his shoulders sagged in defeat.

"Good. Oliver will need clothes. Call Felicity Smoak and tell her to get some for you. I will pick them up later today and bring them to you. Oliver is not hidden from angels like you are Dean so I will keep them off of you until you reach Sam. If Sam gets moved or is in further danger I will let you know. " then Castiel vanished.

Dean took a shuddering breath and looked at Oliver. "Let's get you out of that suit. It stands out a bit much during the day." He walked to the back of the Impala, popped the trunk and pulled out a pair of jeans, a shirt and a spare jacket for Oliver. Oliver texted Felicity with an update and told her to get some of his clothes and a cell charger for him. Then he told her not to call right now, that he would call her later and explain further. She sent a simple OK back. She had grown used to unusual requests.

"Dean." Oliver asked as he was changing. "The last thing Castiel said to you, about denying him. It was phrased almost like a Bible quote." He wanted to figure out why Dean had been so affected by it.

"Yeah. Peter denied Christ three times after he was arrested. Peter was one of Christ's most loyal followers until it came down to Christ being crucified, then he disowned him because he was afraid to suffer the same fate as Christ. Basically Cas was calling me out. Castiel has given up everything for us, well me more specifically. Sometimes I forget that. " Dean turned away and headed to the driver's seat of the Impala.

Oliver slid into the passenger seat his mind spinning. Angels, God, Lucifer? He looked over at Dean and wondered how often Dean and Sam had asked the question that was ringing in his mind. Why me?


	2. Chapter 2 Night Drives

CHAPTER 2 Night Drives

The first two hours of the drive had been incredibly awkward. Dean hadn't wanted to talk and Oliver had no idea what to say. They pulled over into a truck stop, Oliver got out to stretch his legs, his mind was already numb from the two hours of the featureless drive. How did Dean and Sam drive all over the country and not go stark raving mad? He and Dean went inside, Dean paid for gas, Oliver used the restroom and wanted to get something to eat. He remembered he didn't have his wallet seeing as how when he was out being a vigilante he didn't think it would be wise to have ID on him.

"Hey Dean, my wallet is where everything else I own is. Can I borrow some cash until I get it? I need some water and food." Oliver asked a bit sheepishly. Dean's face split into a huge grin.

"Well that's the last thing I ever expected to happen to me. A billionaire asking me for some spare change. Let me savor this. "Dean paused. "Yeah sure, I'll hook you up. I'll add interest to it starting day after tomorrow if I don't get it back." he winked at Oliver and walked up to the register to pay for the stuff Oliver had grabbed and a coffee and snacks for himself.

Oliver wondered how Sam had tolerated Dean for more than a week. The next two days were going to try his patience, he could already tell.

They got back to the car, got in and Dean pulled out. They drove a few more miles then Dean started to talk.

"How was he?" Dean asked.

"Who?"

"Sam, when you found him." Dean was trying to act nonchalant about it but his tone betrayed him.

"Do you really want to know?" Oliver said.

"Yeah. I think I need to. "

"Alright. Remember the credit cards I gave you and Sam after the warehouse full of demons?" Oliver asked.

"Yes."

"Well Felicity had set up some sort of computer alert to let her know if your spending habits had changed. She figured you'd never call if you needed help but the cards might let her know if something was up.

"That's quite a woman you have working for you Oliver." Dean said.

"She doesn't work for me, she works with me." Oliver clarified. Dean glanced at him and nodded a bit.

"I stand corrected. Go on. "

"About a month after you died she got the alert showing that you guys hadn't moved in a month which was odd. Also there was a lot of money being spent at a liquor store. She called the hotel pretending to be a concerned family member. The desk person told her Sam was there but you were nowhere to be seen. I was on a business trip at the time with Diggle but we diverted to where she told us Sam was after we were done instead of going straight home. " Oliver paused and took a breath. He still remembered how haunted and broken Sam had looked that first night. He hoped he could convey that to Dean.

"I drove to the motel the cards were being used at , Diggle stayed back at our hotel. I pulled up, the Impala was parked in front of the room, dented, a window was broken out and it was covered in dust." He saw Dean's hands tighten on the steering wheel. "The door to the room was unlocked so I opened it up a bit. Sam was laying on one of the beds completely passed out, filthy and down about 20 lbs in weight. On the other bed he had laid out that necklace he gave you, the keys to the Impala, a shotgun , an unopened beer can and the Colt in a sort of memorial to you. The room was disgusting, he hadn't cleaned it in weeks. As I watched he started having a nightmare. He was screaming your name and repeating over and over for them to take him instead of you. I woke him up, got him moving and took him back to the room Dig and I had rented. His mind was shattered. He couldn't process anything. He had been drinking steady for a month and had taken out a lot of his pain on this car. He and Diggle got the dents out though. Dig and I sat with him the rest of that night, we watched over him. He must have vomited at least 15 times, some of those times we had to carry him to the bathroom. I have never seen someone have so many nightmares in one night. By the time he sobered up a bit the next morning he had screamed himself hoarse. The nightmares weren't just about you, he mentioned Jessica a lot along with various things you guys have fought. I can tell you every time the nightmare was about you tears came out of his eyes. " Oliver paused. As he had been talking Dean's face had grown more and more rigid. Oliver couldn't tell if Dean was angry, upset or what. He noticed that Dean's knuckles were ghost white on the steering wheel though from the force of his grip.

"Do you want me to go on?" Oliver asked. Dean didn't speak. Oliver had been used to Sam's personality which was much more open to talking and his body language was much easier to read. Dean was the polar opposite. Oliver had thought Dean had completely shut down for a minute.

"I saw a new scar on his arm when I came back. When did that happen? " Dean asked his tone betraying little.

"Before I got there. The motel clerk told me what happened. Apparently one night Sam went out and started punching the Impala. he broke one of the windows with his fist and sliced his arm with the broken glass. " Oliver had a feeling that this was not helping Dean forgive Sam but he had to be honest. Dean had to realize how much his death had affected Sam.

"He what?" Dean snarled. Dean slammed on the brakes, Oliver's quick reactions was the only thing that saved him from slamming into the dash. "He tried to kill himself using pieces of Baby?" Dean pulled the car over to the side of the road, got out and stormed away from the car.

"Well that went well. " Oliver said to himself. He got out and waited. Dean was much harder to read than Sam and much less open to input from anyone. Dean paced around for a few minutes, cussing out loud and kicking whatever plant life he could find. He finally stopped, looked at Oliver and walked back. When Oliver could see his eyes he almost stepped back, so much rage was in them.

"Cas put you here with me because you helped Sam." he snarled directly into Oliver's face. " He seems to think I need to understand Sam better. He apparently forgets that I pretty much raised Sam, I know him better than anyone. Sam tried to kill himself, that makes him a coward along with being the asshole that betrayed me and slept with a demon bitch. I am not sure how anything you or anyone else can say will make me forgive him either of those actions. "

Oliver made his body language and tone as unthreatening as possible before he spoke.

"Dean, you say you know Sam better than anyone. If that's so then why are his actions so surprising to you? I think you see Sam a certain way and that's different from who Sam is. Why would Sam choose Ruby over you? Did he give you a reason? Did you let him explain?" Oliver asked.

"Explain what! She was a demon, what else is there to know. I told him that if he chose her over me than to leave and not ever come back. " Dean snapped.

"So you told Sam the same thing your Dad told him when he went to college. You disowned him when he tried to do things a different way. I am not saying it was the right way teaming up with Ruby but did you think maybe he had a reason for it? "

"Out with it Oliver. What are you saying? " Dean's face had shifted a bit when Oliver had mentioned their father disowning Sam.

"When Sam was with us he opened up a lot to Felicity. He told her things I don't think he ever had admitted to anyone even himself. She didn't tell me a lot about them as she felt they had been shared in confidence. He told her how hurt he had been when your father disowned him. Dean think for a minute how hard Sam had to work to get into college changing schools as often as you guys must have. Look, I got into college, well all four of the colleges I dropped out of, because of who my family was. I met some people when I was there that came from lower class backgrounds. They worked one or two jobs and did full time classes on top of that. They were driven and dedicated. I talked to your friend Bobby once or twice while Sam was with us. He said Sam was at the top of his class. Sam is not stupid, he is not weak. He looks at things differently than you do. He also told Felicity that he realized why he and your father had fought so much. "

Dean's face had softened a bit as Oliver had continued to speak. The rage was still in his eyes but the tension had gone from his jaw. He was listening and thinking, or at least Oliver hoped he was.

"Why? What did he say?" Dean asked.

"He hated your father because when he came home from hunting trips he took you away from him. Sam knew that was childish and selfish but it was the truth. Dean, do you really understand how much you mean to Sam?"

"What? What does that mean? Dad took me away from him. What was I supposed to do? Ignore Dad? " Dean's tone had shifted and Oliver was beginning to see how brittle Dean's grip on himself really was.

"No. Look, Sam said that he began to understand why you did whatever your Dad said. He finally realized how hard life would have been for you and your Dad after your mom was killed. He talked to Felicity about everything in his life for well over an hour non stop. You were his Dad and his brother. He lost all that and his fiance and his dream life all in the space of two years plus his Dad. " Oliver said.

"If he had all these grand revelations about our fucked up family why did he go with Ruby?" Dean tried to snarl it out but the emotion wasn't there.

"I don't know. I can only guess. "

"Go for it, you're guess is as good as mine because I sure as hell don't understand it." Dean replied.

"Ok. After all that Sam had a rage problem. I won't go into all the details as I am sure you know what I mean. I took steps after something happened and got him stable enough and through the rage so he was thinking instead of feeling. He went back to hunting it seems. Think strategically for a second. Sam is alone, he knows that things are heating up for whatever reason. He needs to be stronger, faster, better so he can survive. Here comes Ruby who it seems this whole time has been helping you both. Maybe he trusts her, maybe he pretends. I don't know, but she shows him how to be stronger. How to stand on his own and he takes whatever advantage he can get. "

"Oliver she was a demon. I can't get past that. After everything we've been through how could he do that? "

"Dean, Sam went to law school right?" Oliver had never really found that out.

"Yes " Dean replied. All of sudden everything made a lot more sense to Oliver.

"Dean, do you know any lawyers? Do you know how they think? " Oliver asked.

"No."

"I do. Lawyers are taught to use any advantage they can in a courtroom. They are taught how to create convincing arguments using minimal information and use things that others may see as negatives as positives. Understand? "  
"Yes." Dean replied.

"Ok, think about it like this. Sam sees things in terms of how he can use them to create a better outcome. Ruby had convinced him that how she was showing him to get rid of demons was better for the people that he was helping right?"

"Yeah I guess so. " Dean muttered.

"So in Sam's mind this was a better way to help people. Banish demons without killing people. Plus she held out the possibility of killing this Lillith, at least that is what Castiel told me. "  
"Yes she did." Dean acknowledged.

" So he may have seen that the benefits outweighed the risks. "Oliver said,

"All that is somewhat understandable when I was dead. When I was back nothing you just said should have applied anymore." Dean pointed out.

"I am not saying he was right I want you to understand that. " Oliver prefaced "I want you to just think of something for me. I want you to think about when Sam first told you about Ruby and what he could do. What did you tell him?"

"Well he was too scared to tell me up front. Cas clued me into what he was doing, I followed him and saw him having sex with that bitch and drinking her blood. When he finally faced up to me I told him he was a freak and that if I didn't know who he was I'd kill him as would any hunter. He had crossed the line Oliver. He tried to explain why, I didn't want to hear it. I told him to make his choice and he did." Dean said.

"So in essence you disowned him for the actions he took when he was forced to stand on his own. Just like your father did when he chose to pursue an education instead of hunting. He had developed new skills and a new identity and you condemned him for it. So who really betrayed who? " Oliver said. Dean's face froze.

'I was only trying to save him." Dean said. "He didn't listen, he never does. He knew the demon blood was in him, he knew what it would mean."

"I don't know about any of that. My only guess is he was trying to find out a way to redeem himself from the demon blood. Turn it into a benefit instead of a curse. " Oliver said. "Although it seems to me from the little Castiel told me nothing is really written in stone is it. If it were, you and Sam would have already accepted Michael and Lucifer right?"

Dean stared off into the distance for a minute. Then he seemed to mentally shake off whatever it was he was thinking. "We better get on the road again or we'll never get there." Dean got into the driver seat. Oliver was a bit thrown off by the sudden change of pace but he got into the passenger seat. Dean pulled onto the road and they drove for another few hours in silence. Oliver started drifting in and out of sleep. He felt the Impala slow down and opened his eyes. They were pulling into a motel parking lot.

"I'll get the room. Be right back. " Dean said. Oliver stepped out of the car and stretched his tight limbs.

"Oliver. I have brought your items. " he heard from other side of the car. He recognized Castiel's voice just before he spun around to face an unknown attacker.

"Castiel. Can't you appear in front of me instead of behind me? My nerves are always strung a bit high and this can't be good for my health. " Oliver complained. A little mischievous look flashed across Castiel's face. "Oh great, an angel with a twisted sense of humor. Just my luck. " Oliver said. Castiel just shrugged a shoulder.

" I also have a message for you from Felicity. She seemed very upset when I appeared and told her that I had chosen you for this. She stated that having an angel teleport you to some random location in the middle of the country was not a good excuse for scaring her like that. She then scolded me at length saying that you have important things to attend to back home and this was no time to have you " drop off the radar". I explained to her that the fate of the world was at stake. She replied she was Jewish and it didn't apply to her. Then she thrust your items into my hands and turned back to her computers. She told me to get out and to tell you that you had better call as soon as you can " Castiel seemed a bit hurt. Oliver bust out laughing. The thought of Felicity scolding the angel was priceless.

"I am sorry Castiel, she takes our work very seriously. I'll call her as soon as we get settled. " Oliver rifled through the bag of clothes and found both his wallet and his cell phone charger. That was Felicity, always one step ahead. "Thanks for bringing all this to me Castiel. I appreciate it." He saw Dean was walking back to the car. Oliver got out his wallet and pulled out a $10.00 bill. "Here Dean, I don't want to be forced to pay your loan shark interest rates in a few days."

Dean smiled. "Keep it. I'm feeling generous. " then he switched to a heavy New York mafia cliche accent "Besides, I'd rather have you owe me a favor Mr. Queen." Oliver laughed and put the money back in his wallet.

"C'mon I got the room. " They got back in the car and Dean pulled in front of room 20. "Sorry the evening's accommodations aren't up to your usual standards Oliver. " Dean said.

"It has a roof and a bed, that's enough for me. " Oliver replied. They unlocked the door and walked in. The motel room was small but clean. There was barely space between the beds for someone to walk between, the bathroom was slightly larger than an airplane bathroom and the TV was almost on top of one of the beds.

"It's bigger than the cave I stayed in on the island at least. " Oliver said.

"Always looking for the silver lining I see. " Dean retorted. They put their bags on the small table, when Castiel entered the room it felt almost claustrophobic. Dean looked around and suddenly seemed anxious.  
"I am going to go for a walk, need to stretch my legs. I'll be back later. " he turned and walked back out. Castiel looked at Oliver.

"Should I follow him?" Oliver said.

"No. I'll watch over him. Get some rest. " Castiel said and disappeared. Oliver plugged in his phone and saw he still had minimal reception. He texted Felicity that he would call her from a landline and to answer her phone. She responded back with "It's about time." Oliver smiled. He picked up the room phone and called her.

"Oliver! What is going on? You just disappeared! I ran about a million diagnostic programs on the system thinking it was something with my computers. " Felicity said.

"Sorry, I didn't exactly get a choice. Castiel showed up in the middle of the firefight, touched my shoulder and then I was in Montana with Dean. " Oliver replied.

'Dean? I thought he was dead. "

'He was. Apparently Castiel brought him back from hell. Honestly Felicity, I really don't understand what's going on. " Oliver said.

" What? How? He's a real angel?"  
"Seems to be. He also seems to be rebelling. Castiel brought me here to try to talk to Dean. I guess he and Sam are part of some end of the world plan and they had a falling out. Somehow I have become the Winchester brothers therapist. " Oliver said wryly.

"Oliver you have to get back here. The Triad got the contract to kill the new District Attorney. " Felicity told him.

"Damn it! I am sort of stranded. We're literally in the middle of nowhere, Dean is my only transportation and Castiel seems pretty determined to keep me here for another day or two. I'll try to talk to him and get him to send me back or figure something out. Diggle may have to suit up for this in the meantime. I guess it's a good thing I bought a spare suit for him. " Oliver said.

"Ok, I'll let him know" she paused. " Oliver? Can you tell Castiel I am sorry about getting mad at him? I probably shouldn't be telling an angel off. That probably breaks all kinds of rules or something. " her voice was a bit fearful.

"I will." Oliver said as a smile crossed his face. " I don't think he'll hold a grudge. He has more important things on his mind. "

"Thanks. I guess I'll go home since I know you're ok."

"Yeah. I am ok. Get some rest. Oh, thanks for putting my wallet in there too. Dean was getting way too much enjoyment out of me asking him to pay for my food. " Oliver told her.

Felicity laughed. "Was he going to charge you interest compounded hourly? " she asked.

"Yes, at a horrendous rate too. He said the 5 year income gap while I was on the island made me a credit risk " he said.

"Wow, what a bastard! " Felicity replied.

"I know. I'll keep in touch. Sleep well Felicity"

"You too." she replied and hung up.

Oliver put the phone back on the hook and looked around the tiny room. He felt abnormally tired, maybe it was the teleporting and the drive. He found some sweats in the bag Felicity had packed for him, changed and laid down. He hoped his conversation with Dean had somehow helped him, Castiel definitely had his work cut out for him if he wanted to get Dean to a place where he could forgive Sam or himself. Oliver closed his eyes and started his mental ritual to relax his body so he could get some sleep. His last thought was of Sam and if he could hold out against Lucifer.

"Sam's weak. " Dean said out loud as he walked down the country road. "He became a suicidal alcoholic and beat the hell out of Baby. What the fuck?! Didn't anything I ever tried to teach him stick? All this crap Oliver said about thinking strategically is bull. You don't betray family and you sure as hell don't sleep with a demon. Now I am stuck here wasting time while Sam is probably having a drink with Lucifer. Damn it! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me? " He walked faster. "God I could really use a good fight right now."

None of this made any sense. Oliver saying that he had betrayed Sam when he tried to tell him why he had gone with Ruby. Sam was the one who had left the family, again. Sam was always leaving. He remembered driving through Sam's school and seeing Sam laughing with some friends. Carefree and happy. Sure he may have had to work hard but at least he wasn't getting attacked by angry spirits, demons and vampires. How hard could college have been? Part of him had been happy for Sam the other part had despised him. Dean had always pushed that part away until Ruby happened. Sam seemed to feel that the rules did not apply to him, that he could just do whatever he damn well pleased no matter the consequences. Sam left, went to school and left Dean dealing with their Dad.

Their Dad. Dean could barely call him that anymore. He had never been there anyway. All Dad had ever cared about was the yellow-eyed demon and then when he had the chance to kill him, he chose to barter his soul for Dean's life. What a complete idiot! The one time it would have made sense for his Dad to walk away and abandon him he chooses to actually act like a father.

Who had seen Sam's first steps? Not their Dad, nope. It had been him, Sam's first words were not Dad they were Dean. Who was the one who took Sam to the hospital and lied to the nurses when Sam was sick. Not Dad. Who had stolen food when Dad was late coming back from a job? He had. For fuck's sake he had raised Sam!

He remembered how much he had loved going to Bobby's when they were kids. When they were there Bobby actually took care of them. For once Dean didn't have to do everything and he could actually act like a kid. Bobby would cook dinner, play with Sam and talk to Dean. It was like a magical place where everything was how it was supposed to be. Where he wasn't a child raising a child. One night after Bobby had sent Sam and Dean to bed he heard an argument between Bobby and his Dad.

"They're just kids John!" Bobby had said. " You're missing out on the gift Mary left you. This hunting for the yellow-eyed demon. What good is it when you are sacrificing those kid's childhoods? Would she have wanted this for them? "

"I need to prepare them Bobby. " He had heard his Dad say." They are part of something. Dean will be ok, he's tough. Sam, he's soft, he thinks about all the angles too much. He won't be able to make the hard calls."

"Sam's not soft. He's like Mary." Bobby replied. " He cares, he still sees the good in people, he wants a future. What's wrong with that? If Mary had been like Dean the two of you would never have married. Mary was a hell of a hunter in her time just like her parents. I've heard stories about her from other hunters. Just because she wanted out and got out doesn't make her less of a person. "

"Bobby, you don't understand. Sam won't have a choice. He has to just accept it and prepare. " John said, his tone filled with regret.

"John, there's always a choice. You just refuse to see that. Your obsession is going to destroy your sons. " Bobby said and then stormed away. Dean had crept down the stairs and watched as his father sat down at the table, pulled out a picture of their mom and wept. "I'm so sorry dearest. I know you didn't want to raise them as hunters but what else am I supposed to do? " He remembered that night that he had swore to himself that he would always be there for his Dad.

He had kept his word. He had learned to fight like a hunter, to think like a hunter, to hate demons like a hunter. When they switched schools Dean had always stayed emotionally distant from everyone, you never know who could turn into a demon. Sam on the other hand always made friends, he fought bullies for the school outcasts, he buried his head in homework. Somehow, Sam had always stayed positive. So many times when something had gone wrong; Dean had burned dinner again, or Dad was late back from a job and they had to go steal something and sell it to pay for the room another night, or Dean had gotten into a fight and Sam had to help patch him up Sam always managed to find a way to turn something bad into something good.

One night Dean had gotten beat up by some security guards, he had a broken nose and a bunch of cuts. Sam chose to make stitching up his brother the subject for a biology paper. He got an A on it too. The teacher even commented on the realism and incredibly accurate description of the process of sewing up a 4 inch long gash on someone's arm. Sam had described all the layers of tissue that he had had to sew up and even drew some pictures of it. It was like Sam didn't understand the rules of their life. It wasn't an option to be happy, they were hunters and that was all there was to it. Dean had accepted it why couldn't Sam? Why couldn't Sam have just obeyed?

"Why did you have to want to be different Sam? Why? " Dean screamed in frustration. As his words echoed back to him he froze. "Oh fuck.."

All of a sudden everything he and Sam had learned about why they had been stuck with being vessels ran through Dean's head. Michael the obedient son, Lucifer the one who refused his father's wishes. Dean, the son who had swore to be loyal to his father no matter what, Sam the one who chose to be different. The whole damn Apocalypse was because they couldn't accept each other. It ran even further than that though between he and Sam.

"Damn I hate this crap." Dean said. He looked around, he had walked pretty far from the motel and had at some point headed into the woods. He wasn't ready to head back yet though. As much as he hated it, he had to grudgingly admit that Cas may have had a point in saying he needed to think. As soon as he thought of Castiel he felt the angel's presence. He couldn't see him but he knew he was there. Dean sighed.

"Alright Cas. I admit you may have been right. I know you're out there you may as well make it obvious. " Castiel manifested a few feet away from Dean, apparently remembering that Dean may need some personal space. He didn't say anything, he just looked at Dean.

"Have you been listening to me think?" Dean asked,

"No, I try not to do that without telling you anymore. It always disturbs you. However, your thoughts have been very loud so I may have overheard a few things. " Castiel admitted. Dean looked around and found a rock to sit on. This was probably going to take some time..

"Ok, so talk. " Dean said.

"What do you wish me to say?" Castiel asked.

"Cas, you brought Oliver out here knowing that he had helped Sam when he had been at his worst. You felt he could help me deal with something somehow. You had a plan behind it and a reason. As you said you never do anything that's not necessary. So?" Dean asked.

"You have already realized some of it, from what I overheard that is." Cas said.

"Out with it Cas."

"As you wish. You blame Sam for going to Ruby but isn't he just following in the Winchester footsteps? " Cas said. Dean's eyes narrowed. "Your mother bartered Sam's future to save your father. Your father traded his own soul to save you and in doing so failed to complete his mission of killing Azazel. This allowed Azazel to place Sam in that town where he got killed. When Sam was killed you went to a demon to bring Sam back which set things in motion to open the first seal.. When you were killed Sam did the same thing. The only difference is of all of you Sam was the only one who actually gained a benefit from it. He did gain strength and power. He did kill Lilith. He was actually using his curse as a way save others. Admittedly he let Lucifer out and could have possibly become a demon himself at some point. but he was on that path because you sold your soul to bring him back. Would he be where he is now if you had just let him go? Would things have taken a different path if you had accepted him instead of condemning him every time you looked at him? Would that have decreased Ruby's influence over him? It is not his fault that he was corrupted by Azazel, that was a result of your mother making a deal. All of your family's choices have led Sam to this point. I ask you to consider how Sam acted like anything other than a Winchester would when faced with the loss of a family member. "

"You son of a bitch!" Dean screamed. Castiel just stared at Dean, his face expressionless. His first impulse was to deny what Castiel was saying. Sam was the one at fault here, not his parents, not him. Sam was the one who had let out Lucifer.

"Dean. You blame Sam but you opened the first seal. You are both responsible for this. " Castiel said softly.

"I was being fucking tortured. You saw me! You saw what they did to me. How was I supposed to know that I was going to bring about the end of the world? I held out for 30 damn years. Sam barely lasted 2 months before Ruby got her claws in him. He wasn't being disemboweled, flayed alive and burned over and over again! I was! " The memories came pressing in on Dean. The endless pain, the fear. Alistair's twisted face as he laughed as Dean screamed.

"Dean, you chose to go to hell of your own free will. You knew exactly what that would mean for you. Sam did not choose to lose a brother who was also his father to the pits of hell. He did not choose to have demon blood placed in his mouth which made you despise and fear him. He did not choose to become a hunter. He took up hunting because you asked him, not because he wanted to find your father. He left his fiance and his happiness to help you because of his love for you. His decision to help you cost him everything. Not all torture is physical Dean. " Castiel turned away from Dean. "That is what you have to reflect on. Not what Sam's leaving cost you but what his joining you cost him. Until you accept that he has suffered in his own way as much as you have Lucifer will always have power over the both of you. " He took two steps away from Dean and disappeared, the ghostly sounds of wings cutting through the air the only sign that anyone had been there at all. Dean stared at the spot where Castiel had been standing.

"Oh my god." Dean's voice cracked. He slid down the side of the rock and sat on the ground, unable to hold himself upright. "God, he's right. " He couldn't deny a single thing Castiel had said, he couldn't.. Every single Winchester had run to the demons to save them. Every damn one of them. They all knew the demons were evil, they knew that the demons had caused them to suffer all the pain and tragedy in their lives and yet not a single one of them had stood up to a demon and said "No, I will accept that someone I love has to die. I won't trade." Cas had been right about Sam. Sam hadn't traded a single thing away to get his power. He still had his soul. He had used the demons for his own purpose. Maybe if Dean had listened instead of calling Sam a monster to his face Sam wouldn't have gone out that night or they would have been together instead of Dean getting there too late.

"Sam, maybe in the end you are the strongest one of us. Hell, you've been saying no to Lucifer for months. I ran to a crossroads demon the night you were killed and couldn't make my deal fast enough. I told myself it was to save you but in reality I wanted out. I wanted to end it. I didn't want to be a hunter anymore and I didn't have the guts to just quit. I was tired of people I knew dying, of the endless nights, the pointless thankless jobs, all of it. Who am I to call you a coward for trying to kill yourself when I did the same thing and left you alone with the guilt. Like father, like son I guess. I am so sorry." Dean leaned his head back on the rock and closed his eyes. Waves of guilt and shame finally overwhelmed him. "The great demon hunters. We're all hypocrites, every one of us. " Dean thought.


	3. Chapter 3 All the Angles

Chapter 3 All the Angles

Castiel didn't go far, he just became invisible to Dean. Oliver had gotten through enough to Dean that he had been willing to open up and listen to what Castiel needed to tell him. He knew that Dean did not like to think too deeply about his family or his emotions and Castiel wasn't quite sure how he would handle this new viewpoint. He watched as Dean slid to the ground, his body shaking with emotions; rage, loss, desperation, understanding and guilt warred across his face. Castiel heard Dean's final thought "The demon hunters. We're all hypocrites, every one of us." and shook his head. Human emotions often misled people, made them reach out for the worst possible solution and the Winchesters had been put in so many heart wrenching situations that Castiel was surprised any of them had stayed sane. Lucifer had much to answer for.

Dean sat there for several more minutes then slowly got to his feet and started walking back the way towards the street. Castiel watched until Dean made it back to the street, he was walking slowly. Castiel could tell his emotions were fluctuating wildly but that Dean was trying to get things back under control. The angel estimated it would take Dean about ten minutes to make it back to the room at that pace. He had to decide what to do with Oliver, Felicity Smoak hadn't been wrong, Oliver was needed back in Starling City and Castiel felt that he had to rectify that situation. Castiel decided to get back to the hotel before Dean. He thought about the hotel room in preparation for appearing next to Oliver's bed but at the last second decided to teleport to outside the door. Oliver wasn't as used to angels appearing out of nowhere as Dean was and Castiel didn't want to upset him. Castiel opened the door and waited a minute before he walked in.

Oliver seemed to be in the grip of a nightmare. His emotions of fear and confusion were flowing through the room. The angel saw images of Oliver being sliced and stabbed, of the shipwreck and the freighter. He had seen the mental scars from his captivity when he had peered into the depths of Oliver's soul but had glossed over the details. Castiel closed his eyes and blocked out Oliver's thoughts. Humans caused so much destruction but at the same time they were capable of such love and compassion. As he had felt his own emotions battle for supremacy within him Castiel had gained more and more respect for his father's creations. They were indeed flawed but the flaws were wondrous and beautiful in their own way. Oliver snapped awake and lunged upright in bed. As he spun to face the door his arm cocked back ready to throw the flechette he had in his hand.

"Oliver, it's Castiel," he said as he walked in. He shut the door behind him. "I apologize if I woke you." Oliver struggled to slow his breathing.

"Castiel." Oliver let his arm slowly come back to his side. "Sorry about that." He put the weapon back under the pillow.

"It is understandable. You were reliving some horrible things in your mind. I decided it was safer to open the door than just appear in the room. You couldn't hurt me but I knew you would be upset if you attacked me in error."

"True, I don't like hurting people or angels that don't deserve it. How's Dean?" Oliver asked.

"He's had some revelations. Your conversation allowed me to tell him some things he needed to hear. Thank you for your assistance. You are indeed needed back in Starling City and I do apologize for taking you away from there. If you would like I can take you back there now."

"Castiel, you said something earlier that struck me as odd. Well comparatively odd at any rate," Oliver said.

"What was that?"

"You said Sam and Dean have to accept Lucifer and Michael correct?"

"Yes, that is what is required for the Apocalypse to occur, " Castiel confirmed.

"Lucifer is supposed to be this angel or demon or whatever that is an expert at manipulating people, at least from the little bit I have read. Now I have done quite a bit of manipulating in my life and if I wanted someone to accept me I wouldn't go about it by killing everyone they love. That usually has the opposite result. Doesn't it strike you as odd that Lucifer and his demons seem to have done everything in their power to make Sam hate Lucifer?" Oliver asked.

Castiel's eyes narrowed in thought. "How would you have gone about it?"

"Sam was going to school to be a lawyer. Not to perpetuate a stereotype but there is plenty of opportunity there to slowly corrupt Sam and make him loyal to Lucifer or owe him something. They could have helped him close a hard case when he had no evidence, Lucifer's minions could have conveniently supplied Sam with information slowly leading him down a garden path of easy successes and at the end explain to Sam who he owed and why. They could have gotten some sort of hold over Sam at some point maybe made him cheat on Jessica and use that as blackmail. There's a million ways to go about it that would have probably been more effective," Oliver pointed out. "It just seems that by making him a hunter Lucifer has made it almost impossible for Sam to say yes. "

"It was prophesied that Sam was the one who had to kill Lilith," Castiel pointed out.

"Which makes no sense either. Sam said that this demon that fed him blood when he was an infant had done that to other children as well. In theory any of them would have been able to kill Lilith. I'm no expert in this but it just seems counter-intuitive to me. Why make the one person you need to succeed despise your very existence?"

Castiel's face became lost in thought for a moment. "There is something to what you say Oliver." The angel stared off into the distance, his whole body completely still as if he was a statue. Eventually his eyes focused back on Oliver's face. "Do you want me to take you back to Starling City now?"

Oliver thought about it, something seemed very off. Admittedly the end of the world shouldn't seem normal but Oliver's instincts were nagging at him. He frowned. "Are we getting to where Sam is tomorrow?"

"It will be late in the day but yes, " Castiel replied. "Whatever will happen it will be resolved by the morning of the day after tomorrow." His voice had gone flat and empty again. Oliver was beginning to notice a pattern to the angel's personality switches and they were oddly similar to Dean's. Both the angel and Dean became cold and almost lifeless when emotional situations and discussions were getting too in depth. Oliver found that both fascinating and disturbing.

"I think I'll stay. My instincts are nagging at me and I've learned to listen to them."

Castiel nodded, "I appreciate that Oliver and although Dean may not express it I think he will too."

"You're welcome. So do we sleep in shifts? There's only two beds. I was surprised Dean didn't get two rooms," Oliver asked.

"I don't sleep. " Castiel replied.

"Oh. Alright then. " Oliver laid back down. He heard Castiel step closer to him.

"Oliver. May I help you sleep?" Castiel's voice was overlaid with something close to sympathy. Oliver rolled over and looked up at the angel.

"Do angels have nightmares? " He asked.

"We don't sleep so are incapable of having them." Castiel's eyes were haunted. "We do however have memories. Heaven is not the peaceful, loving place that is promised in your Bible. I have seen battles, I have lost brothers and sisters both through death and betrayal and I have been alive much longer than you can comprehend." His voice had roughened with emotion.

A night without nightmares, Oliver couldn't really imagine what that would be like. "Could you really do that?"

"Yes," Castiel replied. "I can assure you it won't make you less alert to danger and you won't sleep for a longer time than what is normal."

"I would be forever in your debt if you could Castiel. It's been a long time since I've had any real peace when I slept."

"Then close your eyes and peace will be with you," Castiel said softly. Oliver closed his eyes. He felt Castiel's hand on his forehead as it made some sort of sign. As soon as Castiel's hand stopped moving a deep sense of peace poured into Oliver. Every single one of his muscles relaxed, he felt his nerves unwind. It was almost as if he was floating in the ocean, safe from anything that could harm him. He took one deep breath, then another and then was asleep.

Castiel stood over Oliver for a moment and watched Oliver's face relax. "It's the least I can do. You have helped me in my time of need and good deeds should be repaid. " He closed his eyes and felt for Dean's presence along the road he left him on and in front of the hotel. He found him, but he wasn't walking anymore, he was sitting in the Impala. Castiel quietly left the room, he shut the door behind him and looked at Dean's face through the windshield of the car. His hands were on the steering wheel and his head was laying on top of them. Dean must have sensed the angel's presence because he turned his head slightly to look towards the room. Castiel saw tears streaming down his face, Dean looked completely lost and broken and the angel had no idea what to do. He wasn't sure if Dean wanted company or to be alone so he stood there torn not knowing the best way to help this human who had befriended him.

The two of them stayed there, looking at each other. A damaged, rebellious angel and a human who in trying to save his family had driven himself far beyond what most people could ever bear. Dean put his head back down on his hands. "Cas, help me." rang in Castiel's mind. Castiel walked to the Impala, opened the passenger door and sat down.

"I don't know how to Dean," he said.

"Cas, what have I done? My whole life I had one job and I couldn't even do that. I was supposed to help Sam, keep him safe, raise him up right. All I have done is push him away. I didn't help him when he went to school, I didn't keep in touch I just left him on his own. We had always been there for each other growing up, yet I chose Dad over him. After years of not talking to him, not seeing him I just break into his house in the middle of the night and argue with him. I threw it into his face that things work both ways, that he could have called us. Why should he have? Dad was barely ever there for him and I just kept my mouth shut when Dad kicked him out. "

"He and Jessica argued about him coming with me that night. She told him, rightfully so, that I was an asshole who didn't care about him and why should he go help a father that had turned his back on him. He told her that she didn't understand us and that he would explain when he got back. That was the last thing they ever said to each other. I never asked one thing about her, I never asked about school, I never asked about his life. All I did was order him around, keep him on a tight leash and treat him like he was still a kid. I never even thanked him for coming with me. I just guilt tripped him into abandoning everything for Dad's mission of revenge. I told him over and over family doesn't abandon family, yet that was exactly what Dad and I had done to him. Abandon him. " The whole time Dean had been speaking he hadn't once lifted his head from his hands. He was so overcome with shame and remorse he refused to even look at Castiel.

"Dean, you did do your part. Sam grew up safe, you taught him the difference between right and wrong. It seems that you were an adequate parental figure, " Castiel said.

"Adequate. That's not what I wanted to be. I wanted us to always be a family, I wanted to have some sense of normal. I….." Dean trailed off.

Castiel looked at Dean and tried to comprehend what Dean was feeling. Gabriel had left Heaven because he couldn't tolerate the rift between Michael and Lucifer. Many of the other angels had also left in their own way and even the ones who stayed often felt abandoned. It had been years since God had actually been seen by any of the hosts. Castiel had tried to comfort those he could but the aching sense of loss and confusion had never left. Angels were interconnected, the thoughts of one were very often the thoughts of all. Their wills and minds were so powerful and vast that there was no real privacy in heaven among the hosts. Many of his fellow angels had chosen to give up their grace and live as humans because they could no longer survive the endless battles of the factions in heaven. Whenever an angel chose to give up their grace it echoed within their minds, they knew that another one had despaired. He tried to apply those experiences and feelings to Dean and Sam and their lives.

"When my brothers and sisters over the years chose to leave their posts by either surrendering their grace or just leaving, we all felt a sense of rage and abandonment. We felt that it was unfair of them to leave the rest of us to keep fighting. I have tried many times to understand them, like Anna. Understanding is not the same as forgiving or accepting. Perhaps you understood why Sam had to go but you could never accept it. Perhaps also you were envious that he set his foot upon a different path. "

Dean's head slowly turned to Castiel. "There's no perhaps about it. I remember the day he got the letter from Stanford saying he had been accepted. He came running up to me, so excited and thrilled. I put on a smile and congratulated him, he hadn't told us he applied. I think he knew deep down that it was going to cause a problem. Underneath that smile though I hated him, I hated his success, I hated his freedom, I hated that he didn't need us anymore. Didn't need me anymore. He was all I really had, he was mine. As much as he hated Dad for taking me away from him when he came back for a hunt I hated that his life was going to take him away from me."

"When I pictured seeing him after he went to school all I pictured was I was going to be the dumb idiot in a room full of educated people. Sam would be having to cover for me, would be embarrassed to have me around. I'd come and visit his family and not be able to explain what I did. I would have to lie to them all. "Uncle Dean, the monster hunter." Yeah that's a great thing to tell your kids. I knew what hunters went through, I had promised myself that I would help Dad and so I became the ultimate hunter. Hunting and family never works out. As soon as he got that letter I knew that it would never be the same. That I had lost my only real family. That's why I sided with Dad in the end. I knew Dad was wrong but I didn't care. All I cared right then was my anger and my own issues. If I had been a good father to Sam I would have been proud of him, I would have supported him. Instead I watched him leave. We didn't even say goodbye. Dad yelled at him to get out, he packed his things that night. He even gave me a chance to say something. He looked straight at me, I just looked away. Then years later I barge in, acting like nothing is wrong between us and Sam, he's the one that forgives me. He doesn't say it but he comes and helps, like there was never anything wrong between us. He's better than I am. He always has been." Dean sat up, leaned his head against the seat. His eyes were red from crying and tears covered his face. He didn't even care that he was crying. All that mattered was he had to find some way to make this right.

"You know, when we found out about the demon blood and Dad told me I may have to kill him I never thought of how that must have affected him. In a twisted way I was almost happy about it. Sam would need me, I'd have to be in his life now. Where else could he go? Then I just kept throwing the fact that he was a freak and a monster in his face. It was like I had to keep reminding him, had to keep him knocked down so he wouldn't leave. He gets killed and I can't bear the thought of being without him, so I trade my soul, again not thinking about him, only about me. When you bring me back and I find out about Ruby, Sam had just moved on and survived without me. It hurt so much. Ruby treated him as an equal, as someone that was worth something. A demon who was manipulating my brother for her own purposes treated him better than I ever did. What does that say about me? Goddamnit! Why does he even love me? Why hasn't he just said yes already. Lucifer would probably treat him better. "

"Dean Winchester! Stop that thought right now! " Castiel snapped, power filling his voice and sweeping through the car. Dean's head whipped around to look at the angel. "You have both made mistakes, you have both withheld secrets from each other, you have both been angry, been hurt and betrayed each other in various ways. Sam is not completely innocent of these things. You both have had chances to repair the damage between you and neither of you have taken those opportunities. Sam loves you because you love him. These feelings of jealousy and hate, the selfishness you feel they do not overshadow the fact that you love your brother. I have seen you fight together and save each other. I saw when you reached out to him from hell and he helped you however he could. He would have traded his soul if the demons would have let him. Your failure as a family is not lack of love, it's lack of communication. "

"Since I have been with you I have been forced over and over to not reveal things that you and Sam don't want the other to know. I hear them, I feel them and I don't understand why you cannot just say them. I hold my tongue as it is not my place to interfere but things are at a critical point and I must take steps. That is why I brought Oliver, that is why I said what I said tonight. Sam's losing his ability to forgive you. His rage is almost out of control and Lucifer WILL bend that rage against you. If you appear in Sam's presence tomorrow with that look of condemnation and disgust on your face you have had for months when you look at him he WILL say yes. Can you get past your own issues and truly help your brother? Do you know why Lucifer and Michael are still at war? "

"They won't forgive each other, " Dean said softly.

"Neither of them want to kill the other. That is my own belief. They just have no other options left to them because they refuse to back down. They are brothers who won't communicate or even accept the other's viewpoint and then God had to kick Lucifer out of Heaven and he forced Michael to imprison Lucifer. It's over something so truly minor and unimportant that millions of lives both here on earth and in Heaven have been lost over. I am tired of the killing, just as you are, I am tired of the battles, tired of the pain and loss. I just want it all to end, "Castiel confessed. They sat there in silence, their mutual revelations proving awkward because of the raw emotions that had come pouring out.

"I'll be ready to see Sam tomorrow Cas, I promise. I won't let you or him down. Thank you, " Dean said. He opened the door to the car, walked into the room, changed out of his clothes and fell onto the other bed, exhausted. Castiel, not needing sleep, was unable to escape the moment as well as Dean. He formed the image of where Sam was being held in his mind and commanded his body to go there and appeared in the woods by the barn where Sam was being held.

"Well brother, it seems you have started to truly understand what this about." a voice from behind him said. He turned slowly. "Lucifer. Your vessel looks unwell," Castiel remarked.

"One does have to make sacrifices for the greater good, or evil. I lose track of which one I am these days," Lucifer smirked. "I may not be able to find Dean or Sam on my own, I am still impressed with how you hid them by the way, but I can still find you. Especially the weaker you get."

"Is Sam Winchester still alive?" Castiel asked.

"Of course! Why would I harm him? "Lucifer said. "He's very stubborn about his brother." Frustration flitted across Lucifer's face.

"What did you mean what this is truly about?" Castiel asked.

"Now, now. I can't be giving away all of my plans Cas. Can I call you Cas? "

"No."

"Aww how cute, Dean has a pet name for you. How human," Lucifer teased.

Castiel ignored the insult. "Sam should have broken by now. Either you are losing your touch or Sam is stronger than you planned. "

"Minor miscalculation which I am rectifying. Return to your charges brother. " Lucifer disappeared.

"That was interesting. " Castiel thought to himself. He stayed where he was and started thinking, Oliver had raised a very valid point, Lucifer and his demons had done everything to make Sam hate them which seems pointless if Lucifer needs Sam. Castiel thought back as far as he could. He had been created after "The Fall" and had only heard what God and the angels had wanted him to know. It was accepted that Lucifer hated Michael for helping banish him to the cage and to eternal isolation. What if that was not entirely the case? What if in his own way Lucifer still loved Michael? Perhaps Lucifer did not really want to fight Michael at all. Azazel had been King of Hell while Lucifer had been imprisoned. The common belief was that they had not been able to communicate and Azazel had been trying to keep Lucifer imprisoned so he could continue to rule in hell. As Castiel had been finding out what the commonly held belief was and what was actually happening rarely seemed in agreement. What if Azazel had been acting on Lucifer's orders the whole time and had purposely driven Sam away from his destiny? What would Lucifer gain? What would happen if Sam never accepted Lucifer?

Castiel's eyes widened as a sudden thought hit him. The longer this had gone on with Sam and Dean refusing their accepted roles as vessels the more torn heaven had become. Angels killing angels, angels tempting other angels to fight for or against Michael. Heaven was destroying itself and Lucifer didn't even need to raise a finger to do it. Lucifer was committing the ultimate rebellion. He was destroying the prophecy to destroy heaven and there was no alternative that was better. If Sam accepted Lucifer, Dean would have to accept Michael. They would fight, one would die and in the ensuing chaos mankind would most likely be destroyed. If Sam refused Lucifer and Dean refused Michael Heaven would tear itself apart, either way people or angels that Castiel cared about would be killed and either way Lucifer won.

Castiel was faced with a life-changing decision. Does he side with Heaven and the prophecy and hope that somehow if Heaven won they would care for humanity or side with what it seemed Lucifer was attempting? If Heaven was torn to shreds would Lucifer actually try to dominate this world and kill humanity? Was there a third option somehow? If he had learned anything with his time with Sam and Dean it was that there was always another choice if one looked hard enough. He considered his options as the night faded into morning. As the sun rose it's beauty took his breath away. There were no sunrises in Heaven. The colors never failed to astonish him. God and his Archangels had truly created a masterpiece. He looked towards the barn where Sam was and he saw Lucifer standing on the roof of the barn facing the sunrise as well. The Morningstar he had been called and the morning sun embraced him with it's radiance. . Lucifer turned around and faced Castiel.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Castiel heard in his mind.

"Yes it is, " Castiel sent back.

Lucifer's face was filled with pride and wonder. "Such a wonderful thing we created, the humans have no appreciation for it. Neither does God. Neither of them deserve it. " Castiel watched as Lucifer jumped off the roof and went back inside the barn. That statement made Castiel's mind up. He would try to find a third option. Lucifer was bent on destroying everyone. Humans had never asked to become pawns in this selfish, prideful war between Michael and Lucifer. Whether or not they were flawed, selfish and destructive they were also capable of great acts of love, compassion, self-sacrifice, redemption and forgiveness. Lucifer had seen their murderous sides as flawed, yet he seemed to have forgotten that his Father had no problem killing thousands of humans when they upset him, casting Adam and Eve out of the garden for eating some fruit and gaining knowledge and condemning Lucifer to eternal punishment for a mere disagreement.

Humans were truly a reflection of God, murderous and peace loving, compassionate and cold, forgiving and vengeful. All one had to do was read the Old Testament and the New one, two completely different Gods but both accurate. Both sides of this endless war seem to have forgotten that but he had not. He would find a different way to solve this, he had to. No one else in Heaven or Hell seemed to care about the billions of lives at stake anymore, humans were considered collateral damage and that was something Castiel could never allow. He turned away from the barn and sent himself back to the motel, Dean and Oliver would awaken soon. They were his charges, his soldiers, his friends and he would do everything in his power to protect them.


	4. Chapter 4 Diners Drive Ins and Decisions

(I may be straying a bit from Canon here but it will all make sense : Trust the writer. )

Chapter 4 Diners. Drive Ins and Decisions

Castiel sent himself back to outside of the hotel door startling a hungover patron that had just stumbled out of his room. The man stared at Castiel, shook his head and walked over to the angel. He lifted up his hand and poked at Castiel's shoulder "You're real?"

"Yes, you witnessed an angel of the Lord appearing in front of you, " Castiel said in an even tone.

The man swayed on his feet, blinked owlishly at the angel "Wow, I guess I should have stopped before that last bottle. I thought you said you were an angel."

"I did,"

"What have you been drinking?" the man asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, angels aren't affected by alcohol," Castiel replied.

The man put both of this hands on Castiel's shoulders. "Whatever you are on, you need some help. " he dropped his hands to his sides and started staggering away. "Angels aren't real. People say I have a problem. "

Castiel watched him leave, "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me? " He shook his head and opened the door, paused and looked in. Oliver was already up, Dean was still asleep. Oliver was doing some pushups in the area in front of the bathroom door.  
"Morning Castiel, " he said.

"Good Morning Oliver. You seem very energetic."

Oliver paused at the top of a push up and looked up at the angel with gratitude in his eyes. "It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do. Thank you. "

"You're welcome. Perhaps we should go outside. Dean did not have as restful a night as you did I am afraid. "

"Sure, let me throw some clothes on," Oliver said. He finished his set, got up, got dressed and joined Castiel outside.

"How'd it go last night?" Oliver asked.

"Well I think. We shall see how he is this morning. Dean is complicated."

Oliver arched an eyebrow, "That's an understatement. "

"True. I noticed a restaurant not too far away. Dean tends to need to eat fairly quickly after he wakes up or he becomes rather short tempered. I am unsure as to how much longer he will sleep but I could take you there if you are hungry now," Castiel offered.

"I'm ok for now. Are you sure Sam is still hanging on?" Oliver asked.

"Yes. I spoke with Lucifer. Sam is unharmed and as of yet not broken. Lucifer seemed a bit unnerved by that. I had more time to reflect on what you told me. Lucifer made mention that I was finally seeing his true plan. I am starting to think the Apocalypse as written is not what his goal is at all. "

"You spoke with him? Don't you have a destroy on sight order with him or something to that effect?" Oliver asked.

"Even if I wanted to destroy Lucifer I am not able to. He is more powerful than I. My weakened state makes me even less of a threat than I would normally be. He'd be quite capable of destroying me if he wished," Castiel replied in that oddly unemotional voice again.

Whatever had transpired between Lucifer and Castiel, Oliver was quite sure it disturbed the angel much more than he wanted to admit.

"Can you tell me why you are losing power? Dean mentioned something about you not following orders but I didn't really understand all of it."

Castiel looked away from Oliver completely, he had been looking either forward or at him during their conversation. When Oliver asked his question Castiel looked in the opposite direction.

"I am technically in rebellion against heaven, " he said quietly. "I was supposed to make sure that Dean accepted Michael or get them to stop the openings of the Seals on Lucifer's cage. As far as we were concerned Sam was already the enemy. After we fought through Hell to get Dean and I returned him here he assumed that either Sam had traded his soul for his escape or a demon had let him out. The brothers had never encountered angels before. He went to a psychic who attempted to force me to show my form to her. I warned her that if she saw who I was she would be blinded, she continued with the spell and was blinded. Since Dean had indeed opened the first seal I received permission from this human to possess him and he became my vessel. I went to Dean who had covered an entire warehouse with demon traps, which he soon realized were useless against me, and informed him of what his destiny was. Needless to say he didn't accept much of what I said as truth. "

"He pointed out quite forcefully to me that Heaven had not done anything to help any of his family members or him out when they could have used it so he felt no obligation to help Heaven. He's also incredibly afraid of being possessed by anything due to his knowledge of demons. Over time it became more and more apparent that Heaven really cared little about humans or the Winchesters. There were several times I had to stop my fellow angels from torturing the brothers into trying to accept their fate. "

Oliver was shocked. "Angels torturing people? How is that right? "

Castiel's head slowly turned to Oliver. They locked eyes and Oliver saw the expression on Castiel's face. He recognized it as one of his own, he had seen it in his own mirrors. Exhaustion, disgust, tinged with hate and desperation. He had seen it on his face on the island when he had tired of the endless struggle to survive.

"Oliver, the war between Heaven and Hell has never stopped. We have tried to protect humanity and ourselves but the demons multiply at a much faster rate than we do. Humanity itself doesn't have faith anymore. All it takes to create a demon is a human soul being tortured into a demon which is not that hard in the greater scheme of things. It is much harder to create an angel. Our numbers have not been reinforced in any real quantity for many years. God has to create us, humans cannot become angels of any great strength. God is….not paying attention I feel. Perhaps He is as tired as the rest of us. I was a captain of an entire garrison of angels at one point. Of the hundreds of angels that were assigned to me originally only a handful remain. I honestly cannot remember when I received a new angel to command. We've become desperate. There were 666 seals and the demons had to break 66 of them to free Lucifer. They just kept throwing themselves at us, spreading us too thin to stop them. Many of these seals required a complicated series of events to occur and we were unable to keep track of which demons were doing what so eventually they succeeded. It is a battle of attrition. All they have to do at this point is wait us out, " Castiel paused. His eyes were distant as if reliving memories of battles he had taken part of. Eventually he pulled his gaze back to Oliver.

"So Hell is winning? " Oliver asked.

Castiel's shoulders slumped forward, his posture one of defeat. "For all intents and purposes they already have."

"So why does this battle between Lucifer and Michael even need to happen at all?"

"If we can send Lucifer back to the cage then we save the world. Everything resets. The war continues but at least humanity is saved. At least for now," Castiel's face was grim, "eventually we will run out of angels if things do not change in Heaven soon."

Oliver just stared at Castiel.

"Yes I know, it's disturbing to think about. Fortunately for you, if we get Lucifer back where he should be you will probably be dead before he gets out again. Especially since Lilith's death was what freed him. I am not sure how he would even get out again," Castiel admitted. "None of this answered your question though. I apologize, the story is quite long. The longer I stayed with Sam and Dean and saw their struggles and their devotion to each other I started to question things. The more I saw that the angels were acting like demons and that God was not making His presence known at this very critical time I started to wonder what was truly going on. There were orders that seemed, how shall I say, inconsistent to what our mission should have been. Our power as angels comes from our connection and devotion to the Divine, to God. We build reservoirs of it internally over time but if we are cut off eventually it dwindles. As an angel begins to question, to disobey, to rebel the connection is lost because our devotion is swaying from what we were created to do. "

"What exactly were you created to do?" Oliver asked.

"Carry out God's will without question no matter what it may be." There was such a depth of sorrow in Castiel's voice, so much shame and regret.

"So if God commanded you to do something that was wrong you would still have to do it?"

Castiel eyes narrowed dangerously as he glared at Oliver. "Oliver, I know you said you weren't religious but you must have heard some of the stories. The killing of the first born? Asking men to sacrifice their sons for God's glory? Pillars of salt? Any of that sound familiar? Do I need to recount the millions of lives that we have taken because he told us to?"

Oliver backed away a few steps. Castiel had become something incredibly threatening and powerful as he had spoken.. Oliver was starting to understand the concept of being smited by an angel of God. As weak as Castiel claimed to be Oliver knew that all Castiel would have to do was just think about it and he would be dead.

"No. I am sorry to have caused you to remember things best forgotten Castiel." Oliver cast his eyes downward.

"Perhaps I should have you instruct Dean in proper behavior when talking to an angel, " Castiel said, his voice still filled with something close to rage. "At least you know how to show respect." His tone had become as sharp as a sword. Oliver winced. Then, as quick as it had come that threatening presence faded.

"My apologies Oliver. Please don't avert your eyes from me. I don't wish for or require obeisance. "

Oliver raised his eyes. "Castiel, you are a being that could quite easily kill me. You have been fighting to save humanity for more years than I can possibly imagine and you seem to be choosing to do what is right even at great personal sacrifice. I am not showing respect because I feel the need to grovel in fear or curry favor. I am showing respect because you are worthy of it. "

Castiel's face had returned to that blank slate he usually wore. "I appreciate that Oliver. However you misunderstand me. It's a very treacherous path I tread, there is much truth to the phrase "Pride Goeth before the Fall.", especially for angels. You cannot look upon our true form as it would destroy you. I am a creature of such immensity and light that it is very frustrating to be in a vessel for as long as I have been. Being in this vessel, humans tend to forget what I am and become overly familiar with me. It has taken some adjustment on my part."

Oliver wondered how close and how often Dean had come to being smote, or was it smited?

" At any rate, my choices have run more and more counter to my mission so I am slowly being cut off from the power that would normally be accessible to me. My reserves are running low and I fear that soon I will be of very little help to Dean and Sam in their forthcoming battles. "

"Castiel, you will always be of a help to them. The sheer amount of knowledge and experience you have is an immense benefit to them, " Oliver pointed out. Castiel cocked an eyebrow at Oliver, glanced at the door and back at Oliver. "Good point, it is Dean we're talking about here. He does listen though. When he was in Starling helping me he listened to my ideas and plans." Oliver felt he needed to defend Dean a bit.

"You must have caught him on a good day," Castiel muttered. Oliver had to smile at that.

"Why does Lucifer still have his power then? Isn't he sort of the original rebellious angel?" Oliver asked.

"Lucifer is an Archangel. Different rules apply. They were the original angels, close to equals of God. There is some debate as to whether God created them or if they were his brothers. They are not bound to Divine Will as we are. "

"Oh. One last question if I may."

"Of course Oliver. It's rather nice to have a conversation with someone who perhaps isn't as biased as the Winchesters. They have their reasons but it seems your lack of religious education makes you look at things in ways none of us would have, " Castiel replied.

"Thank you. Is Lucifer still an angel or a demon? I ask because I am not sure of how I can be of help here. Does holy water work on him? What are his weaknesses? "

"Excellent question. He is still an Archangel. So no Holy water will not work on him. That Colt won't, only the Sword of another Archangel can kill him. There are ways to temporarily hold him but he can break out given enough time unless he is back in the cage. In answer to your next question, in a battle none of us can really do anything to him. Our only goal is to keep Sam from saying yes to him. Lucifer could kill any of us at any time, " Castiel's tone was matter of fact.

"So why hasn't he?"

"I believe he has a different plan in mind. The longer and longer the brothers have held out the more angels have started to despair, to turn on each other. Some of the machinations I have seen recently between angels I would never have believed possible. Lucifer said something when we spoke that made me realize he cares nothing for ruling this world or killing Michael. He is committing the ultimate rebellion. He is defying the prophecy and in doing so will conquer Heaven without lifting an actual finger to do it. If God doesn't return or the Winchesters continue their defiance of their destinies Heaven will slowly rip itself apart. Angels will turn on angels and Lucifer will sit, watch and manipulate, Lucifer wins all."

" I am starting to think that he indeed set out to turn Sam against him but he has discovered something about Sam that upset him. Sam should have broken by now so either Lucifer doesn't want him to or Sam is too strong. Lucifer said he made a miscalculation that he will rectify. " Lucifer thinks in layers, he would want to have the backup plan of Sam as a vessel just in case Dean changes his mind. Something has gone wrong somewhere, I am not sure as to what yet. "

Oliver was overwhelmed at the thought of the scheming and planning and patience on the part of both Lucifer and the angels. The years they must have been trying to outthink each other and all the levels that both sides must try to understand was astronomical. "Wait, so if the Winchesters keep saying no Lucifer wins, if they say yes it's a 50/50 chance of Heaven winning but humanity would probably not survive the battle. I am not liking any of those options speaking as a human."

"It's probably more 70/30 that Lucifer wins the battle. It won't be just a duel between the two, all the armies of Heaven and Hell get involved. Numerically speaking Heaven is not in any position to win this.," Castiel pointed out.

"Ok, really not liking any of these options then. There's got to be another way, " Oliver said. Castiel, for the first time since they started talking, actually smiled.

"That is what I love about you humans, you never take anything at face value. It's also what makes angels like me want to rebel, we too desire other options. It's free will, the thing that got you cast out of the Garden is your strongest advantage. You have Lucifer to thank for that ironically enough. "

"How's that?" Oliver asked.

"It is said that the Archangels helped with creating the world. Lucifer helped with humans, he told God that if they were truly to be in God's image they should be able to think for themselves as the mind and will was what made God and the Archangels powerful and unique. God agreed and bestowed upon Adam and Eve the gift of free will. Lucifer said that if someone truly loved you they would choose to and how could anyone not love God. Irony of ironies that by choosing to not follow God's command and love humans more than God Lucifer gets banished. "

"I'm getting the idea that God is a little bit of a diva," Oliver said.

"That would be an understatement, " Castiel said rolling his eyes. Oliver had to laugh, then Castiel's mouth slowly formed a grin and he started laughing as well. It was that sort of laugh people share when enjoying an inside joke, soft and controlled but still filled with joy. Castiel got himself back under control.

"I think Dean has awoken, I hear him stirring. We should probably get him to food soon. If you think God is a diva you should see Dean if he is not fed and given coffee at the appropriate intervals."  
Oliver really had to fight to not fall down laughing right then and there. The expression on Castiel's face reminded him of when Diggle had first been hired as his driver and thought he was just a spoiled rich kid, long suffering, ever patient with just a bit of exasperation. Castiel opened the door, stepped in the room and Oliver followed.

"Morning Dean." Oliver said. Dean was sitting up in bed, his face somber. He looked at Castiel.

"I am not a diva," he growled. "I just have a certain way I like to do things sometimes. " Then he got out of the bed, stormed to the bathroom and declared "No one understands me." He slammed the door behind him. Oliver and Castiel just stood there for a minute. Dean poked his head back out of the door looking a bit sheepish, "OK maybe I am a bit of diva. Sorry, haven't had coffee yet. "

Castiel looked at Oliver and pointed at Dean, his expression said "See what I deal with?"

"Hey Cas. I am not nearly as bad as Sam." Dean protested.

Castiel raised his eyes heavenward. "Give me strength." was all he said. Oliver looked between the two of them and decided silence was the wisest course. Dean snorted and shut the door.

"You're a very wise man Oliver, " Castiel complimented him.

"A lesson learned from my playboy years. When siblings start comparing themselves to each other in that tone of voice you walk away slowly and above all else do not side with either of them. No matter what you say you are wrong and you become the common enemy. "

"I have had similar experiences with my siblings and came to the same conclusion on the safest action, " Castiel said.

"Well once he gets out I'll take a shower and we can go get food I guess. We've got a long drive ahead. Will you be with us in the car Castiel?"

"I dislike riding in cars, they are too slow. I will show you to the restaurant and probably stay with you through the meal. It seems to be a tradition for humans to eat and talk at the same time. Then when you are ready to leave I will go ahead and wait for you, " Castiel replied.

"Isn't teleporting a drain on your power?" Oliver asked.

"No, it's built into us, it's like walking for you. I am not really vanishing and reappearing as it appears to you. I am just going to a place where I can move at my usual speed then coming back to earth. It's hard to explain."

"Like a different dimension?"

Castiel cocked his head to one side, considering what Oliver said. "That's a clumsy way to put it but in essence yes. I'll be fine. "

"Ok, good to know."

After Dean came out from his morning ritual and Oliver went and attended to his they checked out of the room and hit the road. Castiel directed them to the diner, they pulled into the parking lot and noticed the name of the diner painted on the window, "Paradise Lost."

"Really? Are we serious right now? " Dean asked.

"Maybe the owner just really likes the book," Oliver said.

Dean looked him. "Uh huh. Yeah let's go with that. If Lucifer is behind the counter and offers to make me a steak and egg breakfast I'm just going to give up. I really will, it will be worse than dealing with that stupid trickster. " Dean looked back at Castiel.

"I didn't see the sign I swear." Castiel's tone was mild. Dean just shook his head and got out of the car, the other two followed him. They opened the door, a bell rang to alert the staff and a middle aged man who looked to be in fairly good shape leaned out the window that lead into the kitchen.

"Seat yourselves gentlemen. Be right with you." He gave them all a warm smile, he had on a fairly clean apron, a black t-shirt and jeans. His short, crew cut hair was salt and pepper gray, his eyes green and friendly. He was about 5'7 but somewhat muscled as if he got most of his exercise at his job, not in the gym. "Coffee's fresh ground in those carafes over there and it's on the house. Name's Rem, welcome to my humble abode. "

Dean smiled back "Thanks for the warm welcome and the free coffee. It smells amazing in here! "

"Thanks. Been sauteing up some vegetables for this afternoon's stew, " Rem replied. Dean and Oliver walked over to the coffee carafes and helped themselves. Castiel went to the back corner table, left the outer seat against the wall for Dean and sat in the chair nearest the window facing the door. Oliver looked at Castiel and felt his muscles tighten a bit, like anyone who's dealt with being attacked he hated having his back to the door. He wasn't going to fight Dean for the remaining chair that faced the door. He'd take the chair by the window opposite of Castiel, he had spotted a mirror that would allow him to watch the door while he ate. Then he looked at Castiel again, the angel seemed off, almost tense. Oliver tapped Dean's arm, caught Dean's eye and motioned for him to look at Castiel. Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. He nodded at Oliver and they walked to towards the table.

"Can't imagine you get enough business through here to sell a lot of stew, " Dean said in a normal tone of voice.

"Well the leftovers are delicious so if no one eats them I don't mind."

"Can't say I would blame you. What's the special for breakfast? " Dean asked.

"Steak and eggs or Denver omelette made anyway you like it.. "

Oliver twitched as he sat down. Dean had mentioned steak and eggs outside and he had just been thinking about getting an omelette.

Oliver looked at Castiel and Dean. " Must be our lucky day then. My friend here was just talking about steak and eggs for breakfast and I was craving Denver omelettes. " He nodded at the other two as he spoke, letting them know he was clueing them into something. Oliver felt Dean's hand under the table touch his leg, then he felt the hilt of a knife. He reached down and grabbed the knife he had used earlier and placed it between his hip and the wall on the chair. Dean pulled the Colt out of his waistband and held it under the table.

"Ha! Guess I heard you all thinking," Rem remarked from the kitchen. " If that's what you guys want I'll get right on it. What about you in the trenchcoat?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Castiel replied. He lowered his voice. "Not a demon but I feel something. I almost recognize this Rem. "

"Of course you do brother, " Rem stated. He had walked out from the kitchen. The three men looked at him, he put his hand on the wall and smiled.

"Enochian wards, " Castiel said suddenly. "They are designed to hide and misdirect angelic eyes. He just put them up."

In a flash Dean had the Colt up and over the table pointing at Rem. Oliver had pushed out of the chair, kicked the table closest to him away causing it to slam into another table. He had to clear space to fight and stay out of Dean's line of fire. He had the knife up and held at the ready.

"Settle down gentlemen. Impressive alertness though. I wouldn't expect less though from a Winchester. You must be Dean. Who's your friend? I am assuming that's not Sam or the descriptions I have heard are way off."

"I'm just a friend, " Oliver told Rem.

"Who are you? " Castiel asked. "I can't see your true form, but I know you're not a demon."

"Ah yes. Castiel. Sorry I am from before your time. If you two promise not to threaten me much more I'll resolve this identity problem for my brother. "

Castiel nodded at Oliver and Dean, they didn't put their weapons down but they relaxed their hold on them minutely.

"Well, I can't say I blame you for being paranoid. I am going to reach under my shirt and pull a necklace off ok?" Rem said.

"Fine," Castiel replied. Rem did as he said he would and pulled a necklace out. It had a large pendant on it that was covered with symbols. "More Enochian but I don't recognize the spell, " Castiel relayed to Dean and Oliver.

"I made it myself." Rem said. He pulled it completely off and placed it on the counter next to him. Castiel froze, his face registering immense shock and surprise then going completely blank.

"Cas?" Dean asked, his voice tense.

"He's an Archangel, but one that everyone thought had died or was a myth," Castiel's voice was barely controlled he was so taken off guard. "Ramiel isn't it? " he asked.

"Well done Castiel. I'm surprised you recognize me," Rem said.

"You're going by Rem which is just a derivation of Ram and I recognized some of your sign."

Dean looked back and forth between the two. "How do you recognize each other anyway?"

Ramiel looked at Dean, "Our identities are cast into our bodies. Similar to a tattoo on a human. Most angels would not have recognized mine. Castiel must be a bit older than I thought or he really likes old Enochian."

Castiel had lapsed into silence and utter stillness.. Dean had been around him long enough to know that when he got like this something serious was going on in the angel's head and things were about to get even more complicated.

"Cas?"

"Patience, Dean! " Castiel snapped. Both Oliver and Dean flinched away from him.

"Give him some time boys, he's got a lot to think about. Castiel, do you want to know more or not? Lucifer is camped up the road and I have information that I think you may need. Take your time. I've got food to cook." Ramiel picked his necklace back up and headed into the kitchen.

Oliver sat back down and Dean put the Colt on the table.

"I will say this now to stall your questions. That Archangel...he's not supposed to exist. We've always been told just as you humans that there were four Archangels and to ignore the human writing about here being seven. Enoch was a drunk and a drug addict what could he possibly have known. Let me think, please. " Castiel's mind was spinning. Ramiel. The earlier writings of Enoch and others had said that he was the "thunder of God", bearer of God's mercy but that he had been one of 200 angels that had taken human wives and gave humans forbidden knowledge. It was rumored that there had been seven Archangels, not four. He had been declared fallen but what if he wasn't. Could he help them destroy Lucifer? No, he said he had information. He obviously had been hiding for millennia not wanting to be involved. He slammed his fist on the table almost breaking it. Oliver and Dean had to move fast to save their coffee from going all over them.

"Why Ramiel? Why have you hidden and not helped?" Castiel shouted, lights in the diner flickered at the discharge of angelic anger that rang in Castiel's voice.

"Well you didn't take long to jump all the way to that, " Ramiel's voice floated from the back. "Let me get this food cooked. Castiel, cool down before you short out my power, I had reasons. Also, feed your vessel. I'll bring you something as well. "

Castiel stood up and started pacing, feeling constrained by his human form. He stopped mid stride, shot a glare at Oliver and Dean "I will be back." He vanished.

"What the hell? " Dean said.

Oliver took a drink of his coffee. "I think Castiel has just gone to an angelic equivalent of a gym. Something is getting beat up right now. "

"You're probably right," Dean said. "Hopefully it's not something important like a planet somewhere."

"I don't think Castiel would destroy a planet, " Oliver chided.

'If it was empty he might. I've seen him angry before."

"Castiel won't hurt anything. He's still sane," Ramiel told them as he brought out some toast and jams along with a pot to refill their coffee. "I'll answer everything when he gets back. It will take too long to repeat. If only Lucifer had taken my advice and worked with the system none of this would have happened. He could have his woman, his little chunk of the world and been happy. Him and God, both spoiled children I swear."

'His woman?" Oliver asked. Dean had just taken a bite of toast and was reaching for his coffee.

"His wife. Lilith." Ramiel replied. Dean slammed his cup back on the table spilling coffee all across the table along with Oliver and started choking on the toast.  
'Oh dear. Sorry about that Dean." Ramiel started to pound on Dean's back.

Dean started coughing and breathing again. He took in several huge breaths of air and looked at Ramiel, "Say that again, slowly."

"Lucifer and Lilith were a couple. Lilith was the first human God created. Lucifer helped create her, fell in love with her and she dumped Adam for him. They had kids, God was pissed, Lucifer said that he loved both God and his wife but he would not exalt one above the other nor would he force Lilith to go back to Adam. Things sort of went downhill from there. "

"Wait, back up. " Dean was shaking his head. "They had kids? So there are descendents of the two of them running around somewhere? "

"Well yes. You and Sam are two of them. Your dad came from the Adam/ Eve line and your fiery hunter mom came from Lilith/Lucifer line. You and your brother are part angel. It's one of the reasons Lucifer is having a hard time with Sam."

Dean's face grew pale, his hands started to shake. "I can't, I just can't, " he started muttering.

"Whiskey or Scotch?" Ramiel asked.

"Scotch. Lots and lots of Scotch, " Dean answered.

"Got it, " Ramiel replied and walked to the small bar at the end of the restaurant.

Oliver tapped the table in front of Dean twice. Dean looked at him. Oliver looked pointedly at the keys to the Impala. Dean didn't even hesitate, he passed the keys over to Oliver and sunk his head in his hands.

"All I am going to say to Cas when he shows up is I told you so. Over and over and over again. Fucking Paradise Lost., " he muttered.


	5. Chapter 5 Angelic Awakenings

Chapter 5 Angelic Awakenings

Ramiel made it back to the table with a bottle and a shot glass and poured a shot for Dean. "I'm going to finish up making your food. How do you want your steak Dean?" he asked.

"Medium."

"Any special requests for the omelette friend of Dean?"

"Extra ham and go easy on the onions, " Oliver replied.

"Should I leave the bottle?" Ramiel asked. Dean had already downed the shot he had poured.

"Fill it up one more time. I probably shouldn't drink a whole bottle before breakfast." Dean's face had regained some of it's normal color and his hands were steadier.

"Alright." Ramiel filled up the glass and left the table with bottle in hand.

Oliver looked at Dean, there were so many expressions and emotions on Dean's face that he couldn't even start to label them. Oliver looked at his shirt which was covered in coffee. He had slid his chair back in time to save his pants but he had been leaning forward when Dean slammed his cup down so his shirt had taken the brunt of it. Fortunately, he had enough scars on his chest that he hadn't felt the heat from the coffee too badly.

"Sorry Oliver, " Dean muttered.

"Perfectly alright. I am going to go grab a clean shirt and try to wash some of this off in the bathroom. You ok?" Dean just nodded back. Oliver grabbed the keys and headed out to the car. He had absolutely no idea how Dean was going to handle all this and was very concerned that Dean was close to losing it. Oliver wouldn't blame him if he did. He popped open the door of the Impala, reached into the back seat and grabbed a spare shirt. As he started to change shirts he heard the sound of wings and looked around. Castiel was standing a few feet away, not looking any less upset but his tie was off and slung over his shoulder. As he stood there the wind picked up and started swirling around the angel, leaves and dirt started to move in a clockwise pattern around Castiel in response to the wind. Oliver figured that was not a good sign.

"Castiel?"

"He has hid, all these eons. Just hid. Angels have slaughtered humans and demons, angels have been slaughtered and he just watched. It's unforgivable." Castiel's voice reverberated off the walls of the restaurant, the windows on the Impala shook, Oliver felt it in his bones. His voice wasn't loud, it contained a force that was shaking the very foundations of the world around it. "He must answer for this. " Castiel started taking off his coat. Oliver had to do something. Castiel's coat hit the ground, Oliver had run out of time. The door to the restaurant opened, Dean walked out.

"Cas, don't. I know you need to. I know you want to but you'll lose and you know it. What would that solve? "

"Dean Winchester, stand aside," Castiel commanded.

"No." Dean let the door shut behind him and he squared off to face Castiel. "Cas, you don't need me to stand aside. You can go through me or around me. You know it and so do I. This isn't worth it. "

"You are not one to speak of worth. How many times has your family battled adversaries much more powerful and lost because you were fighting for family? For love? You cannot begin to understand how much family I have lost. You will not lecture me now or ever again on the perceived worth of my choices. I will confront him."

"Fine, " Dean replied. " I won't lecture you but I am not moving, You of all people know I have a lot of experience telling angels no. Do what you want. I know how you feel about hurting humans. You two fighting would probably destroy this building. Well here's me standing in front of it. Your move." Dean leaned against the door and casually folded his arms, the iconic picture of defiance.

Castiel started to shake, his face twisted with agony and rage, his hands clenched. He flung his head back and screamed, "Why have you forsaken me? Why!" Oliver and Dean fell to the ground as they covered their ears in pain.. Ramiel appeared in front of Castiel.

"Enough! " he snarled. Then he punched Castiel in the face. The angel flew across the road and landed on his back. "Castiel, your grievance is with me and I will allow you an opportunity to express it in full after we resolve the current situation. You have my word, " Ramiel said.

"The word of a coward is worth nothing to me, " Castiel spat back.

'"Brother, this is not the time for this."

Castiel stood back up, "You are no brother of mine. " he vanished and reappeared behind Ramiel. He kicked Ramiel's knees out from under him, wrapped his arms around the archangel and they both vanished.

Dean looked at the spot where the angels had just been in shock. " Shit! Cas!"

"Dean! Behind you!" Oliver shouted. Dean turned.

Ramiel and Castiel had reappeared about fifteen feet behind Dean. Castiel was slamming Ramiel's face into the ground while chanting in some other language. A flash of light came from somewhere and a clap of thunder sounded. Ramiel screamed in pain as blood shot out from a wound that had appeared across his back. Ramiel pushed up and threw Castiel off of him. "Do not push me. I can destroy you," he warned Castiel

"You can try." Castiel's hands came up in front of him. They started weaving sigils in the air and he started to chant again. Ramiel's eyes narrowed. "I warned you." He didn't move a single muscle and Castiel was flung directly up into the air about 60 feet and slammed with incredible force back into the ground. "You are burning up your reserves Castiel. Reserves you will need in the future."

Castiel pushed himself up and flicked his hand at Ramiel. Ramiel barely swayed.

'If that is the best you can do you may as well stop now." Ramiel clenched his fist and Cas started choking. "I can rip all your power from you, I can make you a powerless mortal. Is that how you honor the memory of those you lost? " Ramiel released his grip enough so Castiel could breathe. Castiel spoke a word and Ramiel spun around as if struck by a massive unseen force.

Ramiel barely caught himself before he hit the ground. "I see why you were a captain."

"You have no idea," Castiel said his voice cold. He raised his right hand towards the sky and it was suddenly wreathed in a blue light that danced and flickered as it slowly coalesced into a larger and larger sphere.

"Castiel. If you throw that it will destroy you, " Ramiel warned.

"I care not. " Castiel's arm arced preparation to throw the sphere of power that had been steadily growing larger and larger.

"Oh fuck no!" Dean shouted. He sprinted to Castiel and grabbed his arm from behind. He threw all his strength and power into restraining the angel's arm."Cas please! Stop! He is not the enemy. Save it for Lucifer, save it for something that matters. Ramiel didn't kill your family, he didn't. This won't bring them back. "

"Dean, let go!"

"Not happening!"

Oliver walked over and placed himself in between Castiel and Ramiel. He looked solemnly at Castiel. "Castiel, think." Oliver tried to look into Castiel's eyes but he couldn't, it felt wrong to be staring down a being of such power. He lowered his eyes to Castiel's chest and waited. The four of them stood there, the moment stretching almost too long. Oliver flicked his eyes to the sphere of power Castiel held. It was slowly growing smaller. He locked eyes with Dean briefly and he saw the amount of fear Dean was still feeling.

"Cas?" The blue light faded completely and Castiel sagged against Dean who braced himself and took the extra weight.

Castiel's eyes closed as he collapsed into Dean's arms. "Why Father? Why?" was all he said.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked. He had never seen Castiel push himself this hard or collapse. Castiel did not reply.

"Let's get him inside," Ramiel said, his voice filled with concern. "He almost overdid it."

Oliver helped Dean get Castiel back inside the building. Ramiel had offered to teleport him in for them but Dean refused. Ramiel may not be the enemy but Dean didn't trust him to help Cas. As they got to the table Ramiel placed their meals in front of them.

"I know you may not really want to eat but you all need to, especially him. His vessel soaked up an immense amount of damage and Castiel won't be able to heal it if he is this weak. The food will give his vessel energy which he can use to heal it. I put a little extra something in it for him, it will help as well."

They eased Castiel into a chair, he barely kept himself upright. Ramiel had put a bowl of stew in front of his fellow angel. "Leftovers from yesterday,' he explained.

Dean looked at Cas. He seemed almost broken, like he lacked the willpower to keep going. Dean hadn't really realized how much pain and loss Cas had suffered. He had been caught up in his own issues and was carrying a very large grudge against heaven once he had found out that angels really existed. Cas had borne the brunt of it since he was the only angel Dean really knew. "You really are a self-centered asshole aren't you?" he thought to himself. That needed to change and soon. He was missing too many things, too many links, too many clues that could help him and Sam figure out that third way to deal with the Apocalypse. He really had to learn to see other people's points of view.

Cas's willingness to die reminded Dean of what he had been feeling when he lost Sam. That complete desperation to do something, anything just to feel like you got some of that pain out before you ended it all. If you were going to go down you may as well do it fighting. He knew that feeling well, so did every hunter out there. Weren't Castiel and the other angels the original hunters in a way? They fought demons, they died doing it and it seemed like they were more and more on their own with no help from God.

Dean felt a moment of fierce understanding and camaraderie with the angel at his side. He and Cas, they were fighting on the same side of things. Hunters had no one to call on but each other, Cas in his rebellion was suffering a worse fate. He couldn't even call upon his own kind anymore and with each passing day he was weakening. Who knew how much power this had cost him? Dean swore right then he would protect Cas as much as he could. He knew Cas had protected him from a lot of things, not to mention rescuing from hell. He hadn't given the angel much in the way of respect or appreciation and that was going to change right now.

Dean saw Cas's eyes open. "Dean, Oliver, I'm sorry. That outburst was ill timed and irresponsible of me. I placed all of you in great danger."

"Cas, you have suffered through enough of my outbursts, you're allowed one or two. The building is still standing and there's no dents in Baby from flying bodies. Don't worry about."

Castiel looked at him, surprise on his face. Dean met the angel's eyes, allowing Castiel to see the full extent of his thoughts. The angel's face softened a bit, a bit of tension leaving him as he realized that Dean was finally starting to understand and learn compassion and empathy for others.

"Thank you Dean," he said simply.

"Don't mention it. Ramiel brought you some stew, said your vessel there soaked up a lot of damage and you needed to eat. He mentioned he added something extra in it to help you, whatever that means. " Dean pushed the bowl a bit closer to Cas and started in on his steak and eggs. The three of them ate in silence for awhile. Ramiel seemed to realize they needed to collect their thoughts.

"Ramiel," Dean said, his voice loud enough to carry. "The steak was amazing. Thank you." He pushed his empty plate away and got some more coffee.

"My pleasure Dean. " Ramiel came over to join them. "Castiel, are you feeling better?"

"Yes. Thank you for adding the extra to it. I should ask forgiveness…"

"No, you shouldn't. Nothing you said was incorrect. I'm not God, I have no need to see others grovel before me even when I am in error. If anything it is I who should be asking you for forgiveness. It won't make up for the suffering you have been through but will you allow me to help you restore your reserves? " Ramiel's voice was solemn. Dean and Oliver wondered just how much of his reserves Castiel had expended.

Castiel's face grew stubborn. "I can manage."

Oliver looked between the two angels. Ramiel had cocked his eyebrow up clearly not believing what Castiel was saying.

"Pride goeth, before the fall. Didn't you say that to me earlier?" Oliver pointed out. Castiel frowned at Oliver.

"I don't need to be educated in scripture by you. " he snapped.

Ramiel pulled up a chair from another table to sit next to Castiel. "Castiel, right now you wouldn't even be able to activate a banishing sigil carved out of your own blood. How can you protect them in this state? I know why you resist but they are your charges and you are still a captain no matter how small your garrison is. " His tone was soft but filled with steel. "You have made your choice to help them and have consigned yourself to eventual mortality. Don't get there faster than you have to. Besides it is way past time I take a stand in this." Ramiel reached his hand out and placed it on top of Castiel's "If not for you, then for me. I have plenty of trespasses that need to be forgiven brother."

Castiel placed his other hand on top of Ramiel's "We both do. Not in full, you do not owe me that. Not in full. I will not accept that sacrifice from you.," he said.

"Agreed. Body or air?" Ramiel asked.

"Body will be faster and less awkward for them to witness, " Castiel replied. He looked at Dean and Oliver. "When I command it, avert your eyes if you wish to still be able to see. Understood?" They both nodded.

Ramiel walked into the kitchen and returned with a knife. He started to trace signs on the blade as he recited something. The signs started to writhe and glow as they burned into the blade, glowing white hot. Castiel removed his shirt and set it aside.

"Ready?' Ramiel asked. "Remember you will receive my knowledge as well as my power. Prepare yourself for that. What I know does not conform with you what you have been told your entire life.. Can you accept that? "

"Yes."

"Alright then. Blood to Blood, Mind to Mind, Mine to Yours." Ramiel recited. He sliced his hand and let the blood flow across the blade. The sigils on the blade went from white hot to red hot, the entire hilt began to glow. He plunged the knife into Castiel's side. Castiel screamed and Ramiel's hand slid down the blade and into the wound.  
"Avert your eyes!" Castiel ground out between his teeth. Oliver and Dean looked the other way and covered their eyes but that barely kept out the blinding light that filled the room. The walls of the room shook, wind ripped all the menus off the tables, the pictures jumped of the walls and crashed to the floor. Oliver and Dean felt an enormous pressure build in their minds as if they were under some sort of intense mental assault.  
"Enough Ramiel!" Castiel cried. "Enough!"

The light dimmed, the wind stopped and the walls stopped rattling. Dean and Oliver uncovered their eyes and looked at the angels. There was no wound on Castiel's stomach, just a fading scar. Ramiel looked liked he had aged twenty years.

"You gave too much, I told you.." Castiel started

" My choice. Deal with it," Ramiel cut him off. "You need it more than I. Now sit down before you fall down, the knowledge should hit soon. "

"I am fi…." Castiel stopped mid sentence, grabbed his head and fell to the floor.

"He will be fine soon. He has an eternity of misinformation to reconcile. Now same question for you Dean. Do you want to bear the weight that the knowledge I give you will place on you?"

"Ramiel, grab that bottle of Scotch and start talking. If Cas can handle it I can, " Dean stated wtih a hint of defiance in his voice.

Ramiel looked from Dean back to Castiel then back to Dean. "Lucifer has no idea what's coming. Good. The Morningstar has been in need of a lesson in humility for a very long time. I am glad I can have a small part in it." He walked back to the bar, grabbed the Scotch and four glasses. "You may as well have one too Oliver who is Dean's friend. You may not be as involved in this as they are but the knowledge will still be a weight for you to bear. "

"That's why I work out so much, to bear all this weight that the world keeps giving to me," Oliver replied. "Besides, I tend to have a strong dislike for arrogant bastards who like to manipulate others. Speaking as a former arrogant bastard I feel I have the right to pass judgement. "

Castiel struggled back into his chair, grabbed the shot of Scotch and the four of them touched their glasses together and drained their shots.

"Got it all sorted out Castiel?" Ramiel asked.

"No, but talk. I can think while you talk. Pour me another please. "

Ramiel poured another shot for both himself and Castiel, they drank and he set his glass down.

"First off. Forget everything you know. It's probably wrong. I'll sum this up as much as possible and hold your questions till the end if you can. In the beginning there was God and us, the seven of us. We created everything as a group. We all had a hand in everything, it was pretty harmonious back then. God hadn't gotten bored with animals and plants and wanted to try his hand at something more challenging, something that could create, build and help run the place when we left. We never planned to stay here. We were going to create earth and move on to other things. So he and Lucifer started working on what would become you, humans. Some of the early prototypes were disastrous. They finally got all the bugs worked out and created Lilith.

She was stunning, since Lucifer was a part it she was a redhead, he always had to work that whole "Morningstar" thing into everything he did." Ramiel rolled his eyes. "She had hair like a brilliant sunset " he always said. She was smart, beautiful, intense, and independent. God overindulged Lucifer on the whole free will thing, he indulged Lucifer a lot. After he created her, he made Adam who was modeled off Michael, obedient and loyal. Lilith and Adam weren't really, forgive the pun, a match made in Heaven. Some time had passed since her creation and she didn't see why she needed Adam around. Her and Lucifer had become a "thing". Back then intermingling angels and humans was a lot less complicated..Lilith and Adam and eventually Eve could see our true forms and what they could see they could touch. I'll leave the rest to your imaginations. "

"Poor Adam never really stood a chance. What girl would choose a human over the most beautiful, powerful and intelligent angel on the planet? The more Lucifer became attached to Lilith the less and less he wanted to leave. God and he fought a lot about it. God saw humans as toys, sorry, but it's true. You were an experiment he tried, it worked he wanted to move on. He commanded Lucifer to send Lilith back to Adam and be done with it. Lucifer said no. So in an effort to compromise God made Eve to give to Adam since humans still needed to breed so they could run the place. He told Lucifer that he could keep Lilith if he left Adam and Eve alone. Adam and Eve had worship of God built in, the whole obedience thing. They weren't the brightest of things intelligence wise God wanted something that would always be loyal to him. He had a bit of an ego since of all of us he is the only one that can grant llfe."

"God told Lucifer since he was so attached to the place he could stay and watch over humans and keep things running as long as he didn't tamper with them. God moved on, Lucifer hung out and so did myself and a few others. This place sort of became a vacation spot. It's a rather nice world and we were always proud of it. Well it was bound to happen that Lucifer and Lilith would start to feel bad that poor Adam and Eve were so constrained by their creator, so they started to educate them. We told them to knock it off, God would eventually drop back by and find out. They didn't listen. God showed back up and things got ugly. Lucifer pointed out that he was only doing what he had been told, Adam and Eve would run things better if they had more knowledge and free will. God didn't agree. Eventually God just pulled rank, built the cage and threw Lucifer into it as punishment. At first he only kept him in there for a short while. That only pissed Lucifer off more and it escalated. " Ramiel stopped and took a drink.

"Lucifer started to plot against God. He and Lilith started to have kids, something God was none too happy with. He knew any angel/human hybrid children would be too strong to fully believe in any sort of deity and that they may even manifest some of the abilities that angels have. The two of them danced around each other for awhile then Lucifer pushed it too far. He found a way to give Eve and Adam free will after the fact. God showed back up and Eve and Adam told him that they didn't need him because Lilith and Lucifer had taught them to survive on their own. God snapped. He sent Michael after Lucifer, they fought, Michael threw Lucifer in the cage but God wasn't done. "

" In punishment for Lucifer's sin of taking God's children away from him he created the 666 seals and the only way Lucifer would be set free is if Lilith died before he could ever see her again. Then he made Lilith immortal so she could come to fully understand the amount of pain they had caused God. She would live eternally knowing that only her death would free Lucifer. He said that since they both were such huge fans of free will Lilith could choose to free Lucifer or let him rot in eternal torment. Then he kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden and told us that he was going to create angels that would serve only him. Those of us who wanted to be loyal speak up now or forever be outcast from the family. Questions?"

None of the three men spoke. The magnitude of what they had been told had sent them all reeling.

Finally Dean asked. "Demons? Where do they come in?"

"Ah yes, the epitome of a hunter aren't you? " Ramiel replied "You know the phrase "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."? Well that originates with Lilith. Her fury pretty much created hell. She lost herself to it, twisted herself to the rage. At first her and Lucifer could still talk with each other. God had added another twist to the cage, over time it would become more and more impenetrable so she would slowly watch Lucifer fade from her and not be able to do anything to stop it short of killing herself and that was not an option either of them were willing to take. They plotted and planned, studied magic, started stealing children of Adam and Eve's offspring and warping them, even some of their own offspring. Lilith was bound and determined to destroy everything God loved and Lucifer was right there with her. Eventually they hit upon the way to create demons and the rest is history. Azazel was actually their eldest son. It was one reason his eyes were yellow and he was so much stronger than a normal demon."

"Why didn't you and the others do anything?" Castiel asked.

"First off, none of us could break the cage. Secondly, God set very specific parameters on how Lillith had to die and none of us really wanted to kill her. Third. Honestly those of us that chose to stay got caught up in our own things. Humans still needed guidance. You know all those pagan religions that have gods of fire, death, water whatever? Those were us. Why do you think they are all so similar? As humans expanded and changed we tried to keep them on something of a decent track. We had grown to love them. Lucifer and Lilith weren't the only ones to create angel/human hybrids. Eventually some of us got corrupt, became warring gods and used humans as our armies to settle disagreements. I dropped out around that time. God wouldn't take me back and I didn't want to get embroiled in archangel animosity. So I started vessel hopping, teaching humans how to hunt demons and protect themselves from evil things. It was me that originated the idea of a hunter. Someone was going to have to pick up the slack since it was fairly obvious that God would eventually tire of keeping Lucifer in check. God feels no real attachment to this world especially after Adam and Eve were cast out. He made the choirs of angels and left it mostly up to them to handle things."

Dean stared at Ramiel, "You created hunters? So I have you to ultimately thank for my fucked up life? You're an archangel! Ever dawn on you that maybe we could have used some angelic interference any time in the last, oh I don't know, eternity?"

Ramiel stared right back, his eyes cold. "That Colt you carry. Who do you think told him how to make it? Devil's traps? Those anti-possession tattoos? That knife? You're surrounded by angelic assistance. I am not your baby sitter. I gave you all that knowledge and those tools out of generosity and because I felt an obligation for your safety as a species. I didn't have to. Remember that. " .

Dean dropped his eyes from Ramiel's face. He had a point, without the knowledge and the weapons hunters would be useless.

"At any rate,' Ramiel continued. "Things shifted a bit. We didn't know this but it turns out that there was sort of a time lock on the cage. There was only a certain window of time it could actually be opened and the countdown started about 2000 years ago, yes the birth of Jesus and the whole Christian religion was the beginning of that period. God came back around, used the Christians and his son to try to solidify humanity against the encroachment of demons. Castiel will probably remember that he got a rather large reinforcement to his garrison right around then.

"The Christians rooted out and killed all the pagans, our children and took over the place. That's when God started his propaganda campaign. He rewrote the story so he was all powerful, Lucifer was evil, Lilith was erased, along with myself and my two brothers who didn't stick with him. He twisted his own personality into this so called forgiving God and worked at eradicating any and all books that said anything to the contrary. The more humans that believed in him, the stronger his angels became and the less chance that demons would gain any real hold, or so he thought. He seriously miscalculated the human propensity for greed and corruption. Lucifer and Lilith had years to get ahead of him on working with humans and all their flaws, they know how to apply pressure at just the right time to get people to break. God's disdain for his creation will be his downfall, he cannot control what he doesn't understand. "

"Ramiel. This is all, well a lot, but what does this have to do with Sam and Dean?" Oliver asked.

"I was getting to that. Lucifer and Lilith lost track of all their descendents over the years what with everything going on, most of us sort of had kids, raised our immediate offspring and faded out of their lives. I caught wind of Azazel's scheming with feeding children demon blood and was curious. God may try to erase human knowledge but angelic watchers know all, especially hidden ones. I know a few of those and started keeping tabs on who was who and who he had given blood to. It was true that the Lucifer and Lilith were looking for generals for their army and people of larger talents. They were experimenting to see if they could create an enhanced human, kill him or her and then get a stronger demon. When I heard about their interest in Sam I started paying closer attention. Then when I heard he could exorcise demons, well that's when I knew for sure that Lucifer had made a very large error. You see, Sam shouldn't be able to do that if he was just a human. "

"Wait, priests exorcise demons all the time, " Dean said

"Yes, but they do it by calling upon God to aid them. Sam does it all on his own. The only creature that can do that is an angel. Azazel was the eldest son of Lucifer and Lilith so he is half angel, he gave that blood to Sam. Now, you and Sam are obviously much less angel than Azazel was but power calls to power. I think the fact that the blood comes from the same angel made it a much more powerful exchange than it would have been normally. You and Sam already have a higher resistance against angelic influence, throw a dose of fresh blood and power into the mix when your soul is still forming and you have a human that is capable of angelic feats. It increases your resistance several times over. Lucifer has absolutely no idea that his destined vessel is probably the only vessel that could actually defeat him in a contest of wills. He may even be capable of attacking Lucifer at the source of his power but I am not 100% sure on that. "

Castiel's eyes narrowed in thought. "Are you saying that even if he accepted Lucifer Sam could still force him out?"

"Yes. I am also saying that if Lucifer is holding Sam the way I think he is right now he may be in for a rude awakening. Think about it Castiel. Think about how we can get into a human's mind and create whole other worlds for them to view. Now, what happens if something goes horribly wrong?"

Castiel leaned back with a stunned expression on his face.

Dean was missing something here and he didn't like that "Cas, what is it? "

"If Sam fights hard enough he may be able to damage Lucifer's mind. Especially if he is bonded to him as Ramiel thinks he is."

"What does that mean?" Dean pressed.

"Rejection of the mind that is controlling him. " Castiel said.

Oliver thought he understood what Castiel was referring to."Like when a body rejects a transplant?"

Ramiel looked at Oliver " Yes exactly. Lucifer has taken Sam's mind into a world of Lucifer's creation, Sam is a transplanted mind into that realm, If Sam fights, Lucifer's mind could be harmed. If nothing else he'll have a hell of a headache for a few days. "

"I'll take causing Lucifer a migraine. It's more than anything else we've been able to do to him. Are you serious about this?" Dean asked.

"Completely, " Ramiel replied.

Castiel looked at Dean. "Do you now understand the importance of our conversation yesterday? "

For the first time in years Dean knew exactly how to help Sam and it was by not helping him at all. Sam didn't need any help, he was strong enough on his own. What he needed was a brother that accepted and loved him and Dean could finally be that brother. Dean had a sneaking suspicion that Sam may have already figured some of this out, he always was the smart one.

"Yes, I do," Dean replied. "Anything else we need to know? "

Ramiel was a little surprised. "You're taking this better than I thought you would."

"You misunderstand Dean, Ramiel." Castiel said softly, with a hint of pride in his voice. "He has made up his mind on a course of action. He will process everything else later probably in small bits while consuming more alcohol somewhere or driving the Impala on some endless stretch of road. He wants to get to Sam. As do I. " Castiel looked at Oliver.

"All of this has been educational but I am more action oriented. I say we hit the road if there's nothing else we need to know, " Oliver said.

Ramiel looked at the two humans and the angel, bound together by love and respect. "This, this is how it was supposed to be," he thought. He only wished he could go with them but he was fading fast. He had given Castiel much more energy and strength than Castiel knew. Ramiel had been around for eternity, he knew things that Castiel couldn't even dream of. The sigils he had drawn on the knife were slightly different than the ones Castiel knew of. The knife was still in Castiel's side. It was just concealed from any angelic sense, even the sense of pain. It was easy enough to conceal it from the humans, all Ramiel had to do was alter their awareness enough that what they saw is what they felt they should see. A healed Castiel and a slightly older Ramiel. The knife was still draining power from Ramiel and would do so even after they left. The drain would continue until Ramiel faded completely. Once the spell was complete the knife would simply cease to exist .

Ramiel had waited for this day, he knew that it would come. This was how chose to end his long, long vigil on this world. The Archangel who had created and educated the hunters, helping one last time to destroy their ultimate enemy in the only way he could. He was the weakest of the Archangels and no match for Lucifer by himself. By combining his strength and knowledge with someone of Castiel's character and training, along with Dean, who was the Michael Sword and Sam, the vessel that could actually destroy Lucifer if he played it right. Ramiel was dying a way a hunter would, going with the best options the had available and casting his fate to the winds. Hunters never die without taking something much more powerful with them if at all possible. Ramiel smiled. He could picture Lucifer's face when Sam rejected him. It was a good thing to see as one of his final memories.

"Alright then. One for the road gentlemen? " Ramiel asked.

Dean smiled. "Why not?"

Ramiel reached out to get the bottle and knocked it over on accident. His vision had blurred.

"Ramiel!" Castiel reached for him as he toppled off the chair. "What have you done? " Castiel winced in pain as Ramiel's hold on his concealing mechanism faded.

"Forgive me brother. I did not quite keep my word to you. " Ramiel said in a quickly fading voice. Castiel looked down at his side and saw the blade still was still there.

"No! Not another sacrifice! Please. I don't want to lose another, especially one so recently found." Castiel knelt on the ground and cradled Ramiel to him.

"You're not losing me. Blood to Blood, Mind to Mind, Mine to Yours. I am with you always." Ramiel's eyes closed and he went limp. Wind stirred through the building and Castiel was wracked with sudden pain. The remants of Ramiel's power poured into him all at once then the sense of it faded. The body that Ramiel had been occupying aged rapidly, dried up and turned into dust. Castiel crumpled to the ground as tears began to fall and sobs convulsed through his body.

'


	6. Chapter 6 Paradise Sacrificed

Chapter 6 Paradise Sacrificed

Oliver and Dean stared at each other. They had watched an archangel die as an act of sacrifice to help them. There was no words, barely even any thoughts that could describe what that meant. They were emotionless, their sense of shock robbing them of their ability to feel anything at all. They watched as Castiel ran his hands through the pile of dust that had once been his brother, his tears creating small piles of mud on the floor where they mingled with the dust.

"This, this dust, this is what God made you humans out of. We were created of his will, his mind. Archangels were created from the universal energy itself. Why should so many of us have to die to save what ultimately will return to dust? " Castiel spoke in whispered tones. "Why would Father abandon us to this fate? Aren't we his children as much as you humans are? "

Dean got up off his chair, walked to Castiel, carefully avoiding the dust and sat next to him on the floor.

"Cas, I don't really think God loves us humans either anymore if he ever did., I think this whole world is just an inconvenience for him. He has other things to attend to it seems. When Dad left Sam and I alone for days on end I'll admit that I wondered if he loved us at all. How did I know he wasn't seeing other women, having other families or if he was even going to come back at all? I know how this feels trust me, I know. I got through it focusing on what I had to do, survive and keep Sam safe. That's why I deal with things the way I do. Push away the stuff that doesn't really matter at that moment, push it down and keep your mind on what's out there trying to kill you. Is it the safest or best way? Probably not, but it's the only way I know. "

"Dean, did you ever lose faith in your father? " Castiel asked

"Years and years ago. It didn't happen all at once but when he kicked Sam out, that was what did it. I still loved him, still do. Faith and love aren't the same though. If he was alive right now I wouldn't want to be hunting with him. We're too much alike and I have very little faith in myself anymore with everything that has happened. "

Oliver stepped carefully around the dust and sat on Castiel's other side. "I have my own issues with both my parents. I can barely stand my mother at the moment and my father, well we were never really that close. I have more faith in Felicity and Dig than I do either of them. Family is created over a lifetime, not just at birth. Family becomes those who stand by you whether or not they created you or share your blood. It's not always the same thing. "

Castiel nodded slowly. "It's a harder thing for me, this choosing. I can't really explain to you how strong the compulsion to follow God and never doubt him is built into us. It's a constant physical pain in me now, I have strayed so far I feel that I will never be able to go back. This rebellion I am choosing to follow rips me both from God and from my home, my family. My fellow angels are my family, we have fought together for eons. We have faith in each other even if we don't in God. Am I abandoning them as much as I feel God has abandoned us? "

"Cas, when you first found out about Ramiel being an Archangel you felt he had betrayed you by hiding. Perhaps he had in some way but in giving hunters knowledge he was choosing to fight by you in another way. Aren't you doing the same thing?"

Castiel looked at Dean, a bit of resolve and determination came back into his face." Perhaps, Dean. Perhaps. Either way it is too late now to go back. " He reached his hand out over the pile of dirt which started glowing softly. It started coming together into a column of tightly controlled spinning flecks of light and dirt.

"Return home Ramiel and rest. It has been entirely too long since you have last been among your brothers and sisters. " Castiel flipped his hand over so his palm faced skyward, the column of dirt and light became a pure white, shot up through the roof of the building and disappeared. "Your essence is gone brother but what remains of you should be there, not here." He bowed his head, Dean and Oliver did the same. After a few minutes Castiel stood up, all traces of grief gone from his face. The knife had disappeared from his side and the wound had healed.

"Ramiel left us something, I just became aware of it. Come with me." He gathered his shirt and tie, put them back along with the trenchcoat and headed to the kitchen. Oliver and Dean followed. He walked towards the prep table in the far back of the kitchen next to the sink. As he walked he felt some of the concealing magic that Ramiel seemed to have mastered and instantly the words to turn the spell off came into his mind. Castiel spoke the words, on the table appeared six bullets, three arrows, a necklace with a circular black pendant that was fully covered with Enochian signs and a handwritten note.

"Brothers,

Oliver - I wasn't expecting you so was unable to make as many arrows as I would have liked. I apologize but I am quite sure you will make these have the most impact possible.

Dean - These will fit the Colt, they won't kill Lucifer but between them and the arrows they will seriously inconvenience him for a few days. Do not use these if Sam is still in his grip, he may kill Sam as he reacts to them. Have faith in Sam, he knows more than what you may give him credit for. I am sure he is stalling for time until you arrive. Do not be surprised at the tactics he uses to escape Lucifer, have faith.

Castiel - I wish I could have known you in better times for even in your rebellion you are a true and faithful angel. You are faithful to what this world was intended to be, not what it has become. Remain strong in your faith to the original plan for this world. I would have been proud to have been a member of your garrison. The amulet will conceal your regained strength from Lucifer. Do me one last favor although I have no room to ask it of you. Mention me to Lucifer as he writhes in pain. Remind him of what his selfishness and deceit cost us all.

May all of you find some peace, you are all owed at least that,

Ramiel"

"It will be my intense pleasure to mention you as Lucifer writhes in pain Ramiel. " Castiel said.

Dean grabbed the bullets "I may even put in a word or two myself," he said as he loaded them into the Colt.

"These are perfect. He knew exactly how I like my arrows crafted."

"Of course he did Oliver, Ramiel was not the type to leave things to chance.," Castiel replied. He was assimilating more and more of the knowledge that Ramiel had given him and his admiration for the archangel was escalating very fast. Ramiel had set things in motion centuries ago that were coming to fruition at the exact time he needed them to. Castiel could never have plotted that long of a game or been as patient. It was time to act.

"Oliver, Dean, grab what you need from the car. I will take you to where Lucifer has Sam," Castiel placed the amulet around his neck and hid it under his shirt. Lucifer really had no idea what was coming and he was finding much enjoyment in being able to take part in repaying Lucifer for his actions. It was long overdue.

They all met by the Impala. Oliver had grabbed his arrows, his quiver and bow and put his hood on. Dean had grabbed Ruby's knife, shotguns with plenty of shells and holy water just in case there were demons guarding Sam. Castiel looked at them, "Ready?" they both nodded. He placed a hand on each man's shoulder and the world shifted.

They appeared about a hundred feet away from the barn. There were no demons in sight.

"Never thought I'd say this but that's not good, " Dean said. "There should be at least one or two demons around."

Castiel couldn't sense anything except Lucifer and Sam. "He's grandstanding."

"Are we seriously going to have to listen to the "I'm the powerful villain" speech?" Dean asked.

"Perhaps."

Dean sighed. "Great just great."

"It's a good thing." Oliver pointed out. "If he already had Sam he would have come after us. He's overconfident or it's a trap and he wants Sam to see you."

"Yes, he knows of the rift between the two of you and he will want to use that if Sam hasn't accepted him yet."

"Crap, I am going to have to act this out until we know what is going on. Fine. Good thing Sam and I have a few things up our 's do this." Dean started walking towards the barn.

They arrived at the door and pulled it open.

"Welcome, come in, come in. Sam and I were just having a conversation, " Lucifer said. "Not that you'd be able to hear any of it since it's all in his mind. "

They walked in, Dean in the lead. "Holy shit!" the other two heard him gasp under his breath. "What the hell is that?"

The barn floor was spotless, the barn had been abandoned for many years but the floor and the walls gleamed. Sam was in the middle of the barn, floating about 3 feet off the ground, his arms spread to either side and his legs locked together straight down. He was suspended on an invisible cross. There were no visible bonds holding him, but it was obvious he was straining against something. His eyes were closed, there was a gag across his mouth and he was flinching and twitching as if in pain but they heard no sound from him. On the ground there was Enochian symbols carved inches deep into the ground around him, white light flowed through the sigils like water. Lucifer stood to the left of Sam on the outside of the circle.

'"I had to get a bit creative on this one. I am rather proud of it. Any of you get within 3 feet of that it will destroy you. Friendly warning. I was getting tired of demons mucking up my plans and letting you escape. If you want something done right you have to do it yourself it seems. Sam's not going anywhere. No angel or human can get through this circle, I built this to keep out anything but me. "

Dean decided it was time for him to do what he does best. Piss angels off.

"Wow, you needed all of that to hold my weak ass brother. Really? Remind me again why I am supposed to be afraid of you? "

"Such brotherly love. He can hear you, you know, " Lucifer said. That was what Dean needed to know.

"He knows how I feel. After all he sided with your side once already with Ruby. I'm surprised he hasn't given into you yet. Have you tried offering him demon blood? I hear that works well. Stringing him up like he's frozen in carbonite or something probably won't make him more likely to accept you. Friendly advice. " If Sam was listening and was coherent enough he would understand what Dean was saying. Frozen in carbonite was one of the many code phrases they had worked out over the years. In Star Wars, Han's friends had disguised themselves as bounty hunters to get close enough to Jabba to free Han. He had just told Sam that they were here to get him out but they had to act otherwise.

"Carbonite? I miss…." Lucifer's paused, his face froze. "Well, well. Time to change the game. " He made a small motion, the gag flew off of Sam's face and instantly all of his muscles tightened in agony and an agonizing scream erupted from Sam's mouth.

"Prepare yourself Dean," Castiel warned, speaking in low tones,"Lucifer has realized something is wrong. Sam's worst nightmare is about to come true in his mind."

"Dean! Stop! I won't do it! I won't give in." Sam shouted, he thrashed from side to side, sweat pouring off his face and darkening his shirt. "I don't care how you torture me. I won't! "

Dean yanked the Colt out and aimed it at Lucifer. "Not that! Anything but that you arrogant prick!" Cold fear ran through Dean. Lucifer had put Sam in hell and had Dean torturing him to make him break.

Lucifer just smiled. "I can make him think he has been there for years instead of a few minutes. It's amazing really what you humans can be made to believe is true."

"Sam! It's not real Sam it's not real! It's not me!" Dean wanted so bad to pull the trigger but he had to let this play out. He couldn't risk being the one who caused Sam to die. He had to trust Sam, he had to.

"Watch Dean, if nothing else it's poetic, After all Sam had to watch you die. " A sick, twisted smile crossed Lucifer's face and Sam's screams increased, over and over he screamed. Dean started shaking as his memories of being tortured came flooding back. He felt Castiel's hand on his shoulder and his voice in his ear. "Peace Dean, you are not there. Peace. Stay with me, stay focused. " Dean and the angel worked together to push thirty years of memories away from him. Sam stopped screaming, he was gasping for air.

"I can't, I can't do this anymore." Sam said.

'No, Sammy, no don't do it." Dean started pleading over and over.

"Dean, have faith," Castiel said.

Sam's head dropped down. "Let me down, Dean please. I'll do it. Just no more pain please. "

Lucifer smiled "Finally. This would have been so much easier if you two had just done what you were supposed to. I really didn't want to hurt either of you, really. " He made another motion with his hand and Sam's arms dropped free.

As soon as his arms had come free Sam;s head had snapped back up, his arms reached out and around something. It looked like he was getting ready to twist something with all the strength he had left. Oliver and Dean immediately recognized the hand position. Sam was getting ready to break someone's neck.

"Sorry Dean. I am sorry but no more pain for any of us, anymore." His arms wrenched with sudden speed, every muscle taut from the amount of power he was using.

Lucifer's eyes widened in shock. 'How di…? "he stopped as his hands flew to the sides of his head and he doubled over in pain, gasping for air.

"Now?" Oliver asked, his voice tense.

"No, not yet." Castiel said, his eyes on Sam.

Sam had relaxed his arms and reached one hand down. It looked like he was picking up something off of a table. Castiel realized that it had to be a knife, that was the only thing a person held that way. He raised his hand to his own throat.

"Lucifer!" Sam's voice rang with anger, resolve and unyielding determination. "I will never join you. I would rather die first. No more pain, no more fear. Dean and I are free of all of this!" As he spoke the last word his hand sliced across his throat.

Lucifer screamed in pain and Sam dropped to the ground.

"NOW!" Castiel said. He threw a hand up and using the power that Ramiel had given him focused his entire will on trapping Lucifer. He felt his energy encompass Lucifer, he lifted him up into the air and held him there. He watched as Oliver drilled all three arrows through Lucifer's body, two in the heart and one in the eye, Dean fired all six shots off, hitting 5 to the chest and one to the forehead. Lucifer stopped screaming, his body went limp. Still Castiel held him. Lucifer's eyes flew open, white light streamed out from where his eyes had been. .

"How have you done this?" He raged as light started streaming out of his body.

"Your brother Ramiel sends his regards. He wished you to know that this was how he repaid you for your selfishness and deceit. You owe us much Lucifer, consider this the first of many payments I will be extracting from you. " Castiel closed his hand into a fist, more and more light was streaming out of Lucifer's vessel. "Avert your eyes. " Castiel said. Oliver and Dean closed their eyes and looked away.

Castiel started chanting in a rolling voice that filled the whole barn, shaking it to it's very foundations. Lucifer's screams had reached such an intense pitch that Oliver and Dean had to cover their ears and hope that Sam would still be able to hear when it was all done. Castiel spoke the last word of the spell and watched as Lucifer writhed in pain.

"Be gone, Lucifer," he said and opened his hand back up, palm out. A shaft of blue light streamed out of his hand and collided with Lucifer. There was a clap of thunder and Lucifer disappeared. Castiel swayed, suddenly weakened. He had used a large amount of what Ramiel had gifted him with to restrain Lucifer and complete the spell. Castiel hadn't banished Lucifer back to hell, there was only two beings that could do that. Lucifer had been drained by the combination of the power and spells laid on the bullets and the arrows. Then when Sam killed both himself and Dean his mind had been unable to focus enough to defend himself from the energy Castiel had thrown. Castiel had sent him to where angels go when they travel in while they were in a vessel. It wasn't heaven, it was an in between state, or dimension as Oliver had called it, it would take Lucifer several days to recover and return.

"Sam!" Castiel heard Dean scream.

"Dean, don't!" Castiel shouted. "The bindings are still in effect. We have to destroy that circle. "

'"Cas, it's etched into the ground! How can we do that?"

"Like this." Oliver stated. He shot an arrow into the ground directly in front of outermost circle, a light on the arrow started blinking. "Dean! Move!"

"Shit!" Dean backed up as fast as he could. The arrow exploded and a crack ran through all the etched lines. A huge force exploded outward from inside the circle flinging all three of them back several feet.

"It's safe now, "Castiel said. They rushed to Sam's limp body.

Dean put his fingers to Sam's neck, he didn't feel a pulse. "Sam! No!"

"He is not dead, he just thinks he is," Castiel snapped. He put his hand on Sam's forehead. "Sam come back to us. Now!"

Sam's eyes flew open, he gasped air. He looked up and saw Dean.

"Dean! I killed you! Are you still a demon?" He scrambled away from his brother.

"No, Sam it's me. It's really me. I'm not dead or a demon."

"You're another trick, you have to be. If you were real you'd be pissed I killed you and myself. Get away! Lucifer! I know you're here." Sam backed further away from Dean, his eyes wide with fear and confusion. "Lucifer! "

Castiel stepped closer to Sam . "Sam it's over, it really is."

"No Cas, I saw you earlier. You told me Dean hated me, that he was jealous of me. You told me to accept Lucifer, that Lucifer was the only one who understood. You're not real either. He must have figured out how to make it more real. I don't believe it's you. I knew Dean would never feel that way. I knew it was a lie. I knew something was wrong."

Dean's heart dropped when he heard that Lucifer had done exactly what Cas had told him he would. He had used every selfish, idiotic, self centered thought Dean had ever had as a way to try to break Sam. Never again, he would never again doubt Sam. Not after this.

"Sam? " Oliver spoke softly. " I doubt you have seen me recently."

Sam's eyes focused on Oliver, some of the fear left them. "Oliver? Wait, Oliver? Why are you here? "

"Castiel decided to relocate me ," he replied, a soft smile on his face.

"Oh, ok. So it's over? I'm back? "

"Yes Sammy, you're back. " Dean slowly walked over to Sam and sat down in front of him. "Sam, I have to tell you something. I just want to promise you it's really me, not a trick of Lucifer's ok?

Sam looked at Dean, "Uh ok."

"I'm proud of you Sam, I really am. Only someone in our fucked up family would say this but, I am proud of you for killing me in that dream world and even for killing yourself. "

"What? " Sam's eyes filled with vulnerability and confusion. The one thing he had always wanted to hear from Dean and it was because he had killed them both. "Why? I gave up. Didn't I? "

"No Sam, you did the one thing none of us ever have. You took a stand. You refused to trade. You wouldn't keep this stupid cycle going. This pointless cycle of losing each other, sacrificing everything to bring each other back and in the end making it worse for everyone . You said no to Lucifer, man. You set us free from all of this. Even if it was a dream world you still made that choice. You didn't know for sure if it was a dream and I am not even sure you knew I was here. You were dead there for a minute, your mind thought you were dead so you were. I am sure if we hadn't been here to bring you back and you had done that you would have died. You did the right thing, you really did."

Dean looked into Sam's eyes, they were filled with unshed tears just like his. "I understand why you did why you did with Ruby. I still don't agree with it but I won't hold it over you anymore or call you a freak or a monster. You're none of those things. I pushed you away, I've always been the selfish one here. I…." this was the hardest thing for Dean to admit because he could barely admit it to himself.

"I never told you goodbye when you left for school because I hated you for leaving."

Sam's face became more harsh, as if he wasn't sure if he should be angry at Dean. " "You hated me? Why? "

"You're all I had. Look, when you got that letter all I saw was that we would never be the same. In my mind I could never fit into your new life. C'mon Sam, can you imagine me at a cocktail party at your place once you became an attorney? I'd set a record for how many people I could offend in one day."

"True," Sam said. His mouth twisted in a small smile. "I never really could take you anywhere."

"Hey!" Dean's reply was automatic. He shook his head a bit. "What I'm saying is that I'm a hunter, down to the core. I made a promise to myself years ago about that and Dad and I kept it. Hunters and normal, we don't mix. When you left I felt that that was it for us as a family. You'd live a normal life and I'd stay away. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of people, or bring your family danger. I was jealous of you for escaping all this.

"I never thought of how it must have felt for you to go be on your own, with no family, How hard it would have been for you to hide what you knew and lie to people about how you grew up. I just nursed my own hate and jealousy. When I pulled you back in and Jessica got killed...I, well part of me was happy that she was dead." He looked away from Sam, he didn't want to see Sam hate him as much as he deserved it. Then he realized that that was the cowardly way to deal with it. He looked back into Sam's face and what he saw rocked him to his very core. There was no hate there, no anger, no recrimination. All he saw was love and understanding. How the hell could Sam still love him?!

"Dean I get it. It's ok. I understand. After you died and Oliver helped me, I realized a lot of things too."

"Yeah, he mentioned that to me earlier."

"Neither of us are guilt free, we both hated things about each other, we both had jealousies, we both nursed grudges. As you said, I could have called while I was in school. Those things, they don't matter anymore, " Sam reached out and put his hand on his Dean's shoulder.

"They don't?"

"No, they don't."

Dean got it then, Sam was forgiving him, he had already forgiven him when he had all his realizations with Felicity and Oliver.

"Thanks Sam, " A huge weight came off of Dean in that instant. Sam wasn't the little brother he had to watch over every minute of the day, he was more than capable of taking care of himself. That didn't mean that Sam didn't need him around. All that pent up anxiety, the fear of losing the only person in his life that had meaning to him vanished. He and Sam, they would always be there for each other, if he hadn't been such an idiot when Sam had left they probably would have never been apart at all.

'Should we make this a complete chick flick moment?" Sam asked, laughter dancing in his eyes.

"May as well, " Dean answered. They leaned forward and hugged each other tight.

"Alright Sam, that's enough..really. Dude! Let go already!" Dean started struggling against Sam.

"You guys need a room?" Oliver asked.

"Shut the fuck up Oliver!" Dean growled.

"Hug me, let me go. God you're such a diva Dean." Sam said as he released his brother.

"For the last time! I am not a diva! " Dean stood up, dusted his pants off and helped Sam up. He turned around and saw Castiel watching them. The angel's face was a complete mystery to Dean. Castiel nodded to Dean in silent approval and turned away.

"If only the angels could act like these humans," Castiel thought to himself. "How many lives would have been spared?" Shaking off that thought he looked at Oliver.

"I think it is time we get you home."

"It would seem so," Oliver replied.

"Hey Oliver, that exploding arrow trick. Not too bad. Maybe arrows aren't so useless after all." Dean conceded.

"They get the job done, just like Baby does."

Sam and Dean walked up to Oliver. Dean reached out to shake Oliver's hand. "Thanks for staying and helping. It seems like we owe you another one."

"No debts between friends guys. It's fine. I need to get back home though." Oliver shook both of their hands and headed out of the barn. It was good to see the brothers back together and even stronger than ever. Oliver had a feeling they were in for even harsher things ahead.

Castiel caught up to him.

"I'll return you to the car, we can get your things and I will take you home then come back for them. They need some time alone I think."

"Yeah, they have a lot to talk, or not talk about. You never know with those two."

"Truly. They are unique. The perfect mix of human and angel." Castiel touched Oliver's shoulder and the Winchesters disappeared from his view.

"Oh Castiel, Felicity apologized for scolding you earlier," Oliver said when the Impala appeared in front of him. He grabbed his clothes out of the car and stood next to Castiel in preparation for another teleport.

"It's alright, I found her scolding much more endearing and easier to tolerate than Dean's. I startled her, it was understandable. "

A mischievous thought crossed Oliver's mind. "Let me text her. Hold on." He pulled his phone out. "When I nod you can take us, " he told Castiel.

"What are you planning Oliver?"

Oliver winked at the angel. 'Just do it." He texted Felicity "Hey where are you?"

"At the Club."

"Ok, I am heading back." he replied

"When?"

Oliver typed 'Now" and nodded at Castiel. "Take me back to the club please. " As soon as he felt the angel's hand on his shoulder he hit send.

They appeared at Arrow HQ right behind Felicity. "Hi there, " he said just as her text alert went off. Felicity yelped and jumped out of her chair, knocking her coffee across the desk, fortunately in the opposite direction of the keyboard.

"Oh my god!:" She shouted "Don't DO that! " Oliver laughed and she glared at him. She grabbed one of his shirts out of his hands and tossed it on the spreading puddle of coffee to mop it up before it got to anything important. The look on her face had been priceless.

'"Seriously? You had to do that? "

"Yeah, kind of, " Oliver replied.

'Is this going to be a recurring thing?" She looked at Castiel "If so, there's going to be some new rules around here. Like not traveling faster than the speed of text! "Then she paused. "Oh no, I am doing it again. Scolding an angel. I am so not a good person right now." She slowly settled back into her chair.

Castiel walked up to her. "Felicity, I believe both Sam and Oliver have you referred to you as a guardian angel. Is that correct?"

She nodded a bit timidly. "Um yes. That's not blasphemy is it?"

"No, it's not," he placed his hand on her shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. He saw her goodness, her dedication to Oliver's mission, her admiration for him and her fierce resolve to help him anyway she could even though it placed her in great harm. He saw more than that, he saw why she was so devoted to Oliver, her fears of loss and of being an outcast in life because of what she chose to do. He saw how she had helped Sam and shown him kindness when he most needed it. He saw her purity of spirit and it helped renew his own battered and bruised spirit. "Speaking as a guardian angel, I think you are more than worthy of that title. Keep him safe. I promise if I need him again I will inform you before we leave. Don't ever doubt his loyalty to you, ever."

Felicity was speechless. All she could do was nod at Castiel.

"Oliver.." Castiel started to speak.

"As I told Sam and Dean," Oliver interrupted. " No debts between friends. If you need me you know where to find me."

Castiel nodded and vanished.

"Oliver?" Felicity stammered.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin." he had an idea. Seeing Sam again he remembered the meals they had made together. He had planned to do more of those meals as a way for the three of them to get some downtime but had never gotten around to it. The last two days had shown him the importance of family, however you defined it. "You in the mood to cook at all? I'll help."

"Huh? " Felicity was still processing what Castiel had told her.

"Never mind, I'll cook, you think. I'll call Dig see if he wants to join in. We can eat at his place. I've never actually been there. "

"Wait, why are we doing this?" she asked

"We're family, I want to spend time with you outside of here."

"Uh ok. Sure."

Oliver texted Dig who said he wasn't doing anything and to come on over. The two of them got their things and headed out. Oliver had Felicity find the recipe for steak pot pie Sam had made. Somehow they managed to burn the tops of the them but the insides were still delicious.

Castiel made it back to the barn and watched Sam and Dean from a distance. His decision to bring Oliver to Dean had ended up being the correct one. The brother's bond was stronger than ever. Lucifer would have no chance at getting Sam to accept him. A thought crossed Castiel's mind. Something Ramiel said about Sam being able to control Lucifer even if he accepted him. Was that the third way? A shudder ran through him. How could he ever ask that of Sam? He pushed the thought away and joined them. They had Horsemen to stop. A hunter's job was never done.

End of Series.


End file.
